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Showing posts from April, 2008

Yahtzee Croshaw namechacks That guy's, struggles with Nintendo controls.

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As ever, Yahtzee Croshaw delivers yet another enjoyable zero punctuation*. This time it's super smash brothers brawl. However, it's obvious from the review that he struggles with the control system. Now, we aren't haters here but people who can't play SSBB? We're no experts ourselves and in fact the antipenultimate time the maniacs met up Richie and I didn't enjoy getting double-team-violated by Fox and Falco up against the Great Fox. :(



Still. Yahtzee loses some of his cool points because he can't work out the controls. It's not rocket science and it is the third iteration. He tries to cover his noobishness with layers of fanboy baiting and talk about "friends" and "multiplayer situations" but he has exposed a weakness. In fact he even comes across as a bit girly (not racist-girly like Anne Diamond's game reviews girly) and this is coming from a PC gamer so he should be used to retarded controls. And games. And PC gamer friends. …

Beauty and the Geek

What happens when evolutionary selection becomes all but redundant in a species but at the same time boys no longer grow up to be men?

This happens

Seriously, next they'll have to be told which hole to put it into. Expect a DS version later this year so that geeks can pick up on the fly.

GTA4 obligatory review

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Soooo GTA4 then?

Might as well get this review out of the way before it “officially” comes out on Tuesday.

So for today’s review we are going to set it out in a classic divvied up review with each section out of ten.


Section 1. Gameplay.

Well this one is quite easy, have you played GTA3, VC, SA? It’s pretty much the same: run, shoot, drive. Except this time they have added some spanky tweaks, including GPS system, a better aiming system, and being able to hide behind cover. There isn’t much wrong with the GTA formulae, it’s non-stop fun and they have not strayed away from this standard.

Score: 9/10. Good to see GTA back again, with so many sandbox rip-offs its good to go back to the roots, new and improved roots at that.


Section 2. Graphics.

Graphics eh? I honestly don’t know how to approach this one… I have always had gripes with GTA’s (rockstar’s?) graphics. I remember when San Andreas was out on the PS2 and everyone was banging on about how great it looked, but I couldn’t see it. Wheneve…

GTA 4 Early!

Ha!

YAAAAS

"IcanhasGTA4?"

Yes I can!

kkthxbye

Microsoft: Logic

Right so, I tried logging on to Xbox Live last night, but couldn't as, I have got a new credit card since then...

So I check my mail: and I have this in my inbox:

To update your credit card information:
1. Select your gamer card.
2. Select Account Management.
3. Select Memberships.
4. Select the membership you want to update.
For more info, go to www.xbox.com/support or call Xbox Customer Support at 0800 587 1102.
If you have already resolved this issue, please disregard this notice and accept our thanks.

Thank you for using Microsoft Online Services.

The Xbox Live team.

FAIL at step 2.!!

The moment you select Account management, it then says "you must be signed in to Xbox live", -.-

Caught in a viscous circle where Microsoft wont let me give them my money...

To be honest, I'm not actually that…

Machinima...

...isn't all pointless shit. Some of it is cool pointless shit. Yeah so Wow was so a year ago and even Portal is starting to get old. Just you wait. GTA IV is gonna land and you won't ever have to hear that cake song again!

WoW Videos

Congrats to BaronSoosdon.

Oh and also, if you've got time to waste Halolz is GOLD at the moment.

Petition!

Aye well!

Fuck the Canadians, Lets get the UK back on track!

Everyone please sign up here!

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/ukgames/

Love 'n' hugs,

Richie

Omastar Comics #17

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Could it be? Has he? All those years of research which is hampered by underwater labspaces? It all paid off?


Wow! Things will never be the same again. That. Is for sure.

The New DS?

It's just rumours or whatever but if it ain't. Fuck off you money wringing wankers. What's wrong? do you not already have enough money? How about stop pissing about with a new DS and get some decent franchises on the DS instead of all that awful animated film tie in shit that literally fills the shelves of GAME and spills out onto the street knocking over frail Grannies and blocking traffic. By decent franchises I very specifically mean:

Resident Evil 2

Yes "it" isn't a franchise. But it is. Just pay Capcom all that money you are sitting on and stop making crappy Mario, Zelda and Metroid games that no one even likes or remembers and get them to remake, no reimagine, Resident Evil 2 and make it 140000 player co-op online, no friends codes or stars instead of other players and all that crap that prevents losers like us from actually playing online. Oh and don't mess around with Mp3s and SD cards and all that crap that only "homebrew boys" and gadget…

Perhaps the world's greatest gaming video ever

Yes, perhaps it is better than even Dead Fantasy I and II! This is what gaming TV should be like. Kudos for anyone who can name everyone in this semi- who's who of British videogames before the credits roll.....

Dear Gamers on the internet #727

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Boo hoo hoo. Boo hoo hoo. Waaaaaah waaah a boo hoo hooo. That's all we ever hear from you. Boo hoo hoo Blizzard hates my class. Waaaah waaah waaah Capcom won't respond to my letters. Boody hoo hoo "they" ruined Star Wars Galaxies. Yes it's pathetic but fortunately it's mostly from the PC gamers. Until now...

Since the release of Mario Kart Wii a number of sources have complained about the return of the blue shell. Even EDGE which usually flounces above such gamer whining, whines about it (Mario Kart Wii 6/10). Well you know what? The MBAs at That guy' s a maniac, the Second Greatest Video Game Blog of all time, have voted it the most bestest amazing pick up of all time. Read that last sentence again. Not just videogame pick ups. ALL pick ups. Be it pick up lines, picking up a prostitute or a pick up truck, the blue shell beats them all hands down. Here's what the Master blog artists had to say:

"It is our generations great leveller. Our grandparen…

Mario Kart Wii: Review

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9/10 - "Good enough to consider getting a Wii for."

It's Official! Resident Evil 1 is Racist!

It looks like the Resident Evil 5 racism issues is back on the agenda but this time from someone who, you know, has actually played a game, any game but also all of the Resident Evil games. The piece makes for some thought provoking reading but here at TGAM we've been concerned about the racism from Resident Evil 1 onwards. No one would listen to use before but now that the issue is under the spotlight here's a republished blog we did way back in 1998. Still relevant dontcha think? Totally tl;dr Oh and if you still haven't played it, SPOILERS.

After playing through Resident Evil 1 on the PlayStation I was like, “Mental, clearly not a single scientist worked on this game.” Because I wonder if Capcom isn't some kind of anti science organisation. I wasn't offended that there were scientist zombies, still adorned with lab coats and the such but there was a lot of locations and text that cam straight from the anti science movement. But what was sort of poignant is that …

An open letter to Team 17

Dear Team 17

Please just stop it. Please. You are embarassing yourself and the former glory of the Worms franchise. How many iterations are there now? 15? 16? Don't get us wrong the first one was great. We spent hours playing it and the recent revamped versions have been okay but please innovate or move on. Are you happy with the consistent "6-7/10 more of the same" reviews. Shake the series up a bit. I haven't purchased a worms game since the PlayStation release because every single one of the new ones feels so similar that I'm content to dust off the PS2 to play the original should I want to. Hogs of War was amazing why don't you do something like that but better? Oh and Worms 3D doesn't count at all. Why wasn't the last DS one online? Why don't you do clever things with the stats and camera angles and playbacks? International tournaments or something? How many people do you employ to do the same game over and over again. Wikipedia tells me 75. 7…

Omastar Comics #16

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Back by popular demand. From the brink of selling his body to feed his children we bring out Omastar to perform for your viewing pleasure in these dark dark times.
Oh that Omastar. What a gook. In other news:

No gaming news. It's April for god's sake.

HCI my heartstrings

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Ugh, so I was playing Rainbow Six: Vegas 2 (Terrorist Hunt) the other day as I was playing it I was finding myself more and more frustrated about the positioning of the analogue sticks on the 360 controller. To the point where I decided to have a look into third party controllers that have the analogue sticks in the "correct" positions. But to no avail. It seems as though the entire gaming community has become enamoured with the layout of the 360 joypad. I found myself (dual)shocked by this, the Playstation controller is staple in my mind, I'm pretty sure when I die and rigor mortis sets in my hands will clamp up on my chest in the exact position to hold a Dualshock 2. Yeah, so I was (dual)shocked that there were no Madcatz, or whatever third party controllers, that had decided rip off the Dualshock design and create a controller for the 360. I even went as far as to check if there were some crazy mod sites out there that maybe did it, then I find that thay have actually…

Mario Kart: Vengance

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I fucking knew it. I'm really not happy.




Mario Kart (Due Friday) will not have full functionality with the Gamecube controller.

Apparently "mid air" moves wont be 100% emulated when using a "proper" controller.

Fuck you Wii-mote

Hotel Dusk- The Review

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We're talking away. I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, OK?
Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. So needless to say. I'm odds and ends. But that's me stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is OK. Say after me "It's no better to be safe than sorry".
Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two
Oh the things that you say. Is it life or just a play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying awayI'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, take me onI'll be goneIn a day or two

8/10. Worth a purchase!

Captain Falco Whoring Himself Out

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Nintendo are allegedly very displeased.

Oh Shit moments in games

I kid you not. I saw this as the name of a forum thread. Why do gamers (those who can get beyond platform hating or rating Youtube videos with slur) insist on making top tens of completely subjective matters. Is it to out-I-know-more-stuff-about-games each other? Or are gamers so emotionally and creatively retarded that they struggle if they aren't creating a top ten list? Idiots all of you. Check EDGE's Online Offline selection in their letter pages for the worst kind of wankery and whinging.

Here they are:

1) The second loading screen on Medal of Honour Rising Sun. After the initial loading screen, when the bar pops up and fills up. The game doesn't load until a minute after the bar fills up though. Amazing.

2) When the install wizard for Darwinia comes up. So many gamers I know love this classic sequence.

3) The first time the pause screen comes up on Tetris. Ohhh shit!

4) When you first mix the yellow herb in Resident Evil 4 and you get the little mixed herb image. Oh shit.

We got carried away with LEGO

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Yes we (I) did. If it's all part of LEGO's masterplan to get 20 somethings who grew up with lego to use their now disposable income to buy more LEGO after their Dad threw away all the original old LEGO whilst they we were away at "university" then it is working. Here's the story:

I picked up a copy of Lego Star Wars II the other day. It was cheap in Morrisons and it was kind of my birthday (in a few days anyway) so I thought I would treat myself. I have the original one and seeing as we're not proper gamers here at Thatgirls anymore (thanks Giant Lego Hamstring Enemy) I wanted something to play to make me feel like I was being an accomplished gamer.


Spontaneous review based on the first four levels: It's good. What you expect although the cantina could be more populated, especially with the old save characters. Also, it would have been nice to walk around the hub as your custom character but whatever it has multiplayer without having to go online, do you he…

Dead Fantasy

Watch:



And watch some more:




Now sit back, slightly hollow inside, knowing that you will probably never see anything more awesome in your life ever.