Once you go fat, you never look back!

You can't. It is physically impossible.

Dikky dikky gnort gnort
Anyway TGAM are going to wade into the cluster fuck bandwagon about some game where the job is to rescue a fat princess. It's by Sony or some shit. Anyway the low down is here and here. It turns out that some parties are upset because it depicts a fat woman or something along those lines. That is such a lazy line to take especially when we are judging from press releases and screenshots. Here are some further (and frankly better) complaints to make so that everyone can jump on this bandwagon and rail against evil sony, catering the whinge to whatever floats ones boat.
1) Fat Princess is racist both the titular princess and the katamari dude are white. What? Asians can't be princesses? Blacks can't be fat? Racist filth etc. etc.

2) Fat Princess is ageist. The princess looks young. What? Old people can't be princesses? Babies can't be princesses?

3) Fat Princess is sexist. The princess looks like a woman. What? Men and transgender persons can't be princesses?

4) Fat Princess is homophobic. The princess has long hair and is being rescued by a man. She appears not to be making her sexuality into a big issue. What? Princesses can't be homosexual?

5) Fat Princess is too realistic. The princess is a chubber, the likes of which are seen on every city street in the world. What? I don't play videogames to live in the real world? Make it more unrealistic. Where's the alien princess or the princess with five heads and laser chainsaws for legs? Where's the Princess who has three smaller princesses inside her head controlling her movements?

6) Fat Princess is phylist. The princess appears to be a chordate and the hearts in the gauge are typical "higher vertebrate" chambered hearts. What? So Echinoderms can't be princesses? Members of the plant and funghi kingdoms can't be princesses? Chordate loving scumbags. This is typical of the makers of games. TYPICAL.

7) Fat Princess is colourist. The castle appears to be brown and the water is blue. What? Castles can be any colour? Why brown? The Nazis wore brown! Also I've seen green, red and brown water, why so blue? Is this some kind of homage to the Nazis who also wore blue sometimes. Colourists. Colourists and facists.

8) Fat Princess is (that's enough now- Richie)

So you see! This game insults everyone. It's disgusting filth. People are dying of the AIDS and malaria and people have no food or electricity. Good for them because then they hopefully won't have to experience further exposure to this horrible videogame that is just a game. We're starting a campaign to gather up the worlds' young, gay, black, asian, dwarf, transgender, non-chordate princesses to march for justice. Join us and we'll set this problem right. One game at a time people! ONE GAME AT A TIME.

Comments

Quadbee said…
FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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