GTAIV is to prostitute murder simulator as....

So GTAIV still grabbing headlines. Some good some bad. But one statement that crops up time and time again, by the naysayers, then reiterated for ridicule by the defenders, is that GTAIV is some kind of prostitute murdering simulator. Which, to be fair it can be. But why focus on such a tiny little possibility in the game? Oh to grab headlines and take up some column inches. But come on journos, senators, presidents and prime ministers. You ain't gonna beat GTAIV. No the game is way too popular and successful. Rockstar has had more court cases than hot dinners and there is even a book out that pretty much says GTA, it's okay. So come on hacks and political wannabes. Rockstar and GTA are a well defended fortress. You aren't gonna beat them. But if your criticism about games you never played boils down to repeating a single sentence to get the mob going, why not choose a softer target than the battle hardened Rockstar. So once again Christian Mothers Against Everything, Daily Mail Journalists and Politicians needing something easy to campaign against, here's some games pointlessly boiled down to a single sentence for you to spout like a knob in your next column.

Pokemon is about interspecies sex breeding programs
Dynasty warriors is about mudering thousands of Chinese people

Wii Play is a tank war simulator
Resident Evil 4 is about killing spanish people

Civ is a genocide simulator
Resident Evil 2 is about impregnating your own daughter

The Sims is about trapping people in the basement until they die of starvation

Tomb Raider promotes the theft of cultural property from the developing world

Bioshock promotes intravenous injections

Haze is a drug overdosing simulator
Nintendogs is an animal cruelty simulator

Resident Evil 4 is about shooting cows in the anus
Final Fantasy X is about bondage
Mass effect is an interspecies sex simulator
Mario Kart is about throwing objects at animals

Fahrenheit is about necrophilia
FFX-2 is about girls

Animal Crossing is an orphan child labour simulator

Metal Gear solid is about distributing pornography

Timesplitters is about giving everyone contagious viruses
Final Fantasy VIII is an anti-gravity sex simulator
Soul Calibur is about boobs
The Dizzy series is pro-life
Pokemon battle revolution is about beating children online

And here's some flip-side-reversed ones:

Assassin's Creed is a horse riding simulator
GTAIV is about dressing up and going on dates

Manhunt is a hide and seek simulator
World of Warcraft is a farming simulator

Syndicate Wars is about effectively convincing people of your opinion

Dead Rising is about saving people from danger

Call of Duty 4 is about teamwork

Burnout is a traffic awareness simulator
Resident Evil 2 is about equal opportunities
Metal Gear Solid 4 is about old people still having a place in the community

Final Fantasy VII is about helping the handicapped
GTA San Andreas is about collecting seashells
Sentimental shooting is about the pitfalls of bad stitching

What ones can you come up with readers?


Daily Mail said…
Bad mouth us again and we'll write an article about how That guy's are a bunch of lefty gay romany gypsy colaberators that want more immigration, gay marriage, terrorism, extremism and multi-culturism. Then you'll see what's what.
Cunzy11 said…
The Daily Mail has FIV.
Anonymous said…
@ Dail Mail:

How is that badmouthing anyone?

Anonymous said…
Crazy Frog Racer 2 is about munging the still warm corpse of your neighbour. You need to use the "Shat Toffee" mod though, but the content's still in there.

Sir Lemon Pledge
Anonymous said…
Street Fighter is about how shit India is at fighting
Anonymous said…
Flatout UC is a how shit richie is at racing games simulator
Anonymous said…
Anonymous said…

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