Monday, April 30, 2007

Nobody does a Daily Mail like the Daily Mail

If you haven't heard or read it by now the Daily Mail has gone bonkers over the Launch Party for God of War II. Here it is. Using my skills obtained through my GCSE History I will now highlight how this article is mostly gibberish and how the Daily Mail needs to stop feeding Daily Mail readers with this shit and turning them into those women who get angry when they don't have the correct change for the bus and then they start shouting at the bus driver as if it's their fault when in fact it's probably a bit of mid-life crisis mixed in with Post Natal Depression. Well, if you will have children at 45........

It starts

"Electronics giant Sony has sparked a major row over animal cruelty and the ethics of the computer industry by using a freshly slaughtered goat to promote a violent video game."
Has it? Does this major row appear anywhere other than in the Daily Mail? No. Perhaps it would have been better if the goat was a freshly slaughtered, then frozen by birdseye and then bought from ASDA? Probably not because then the Daily Mail would blame all the "bloody foreigners" that work at ASDA to fund terrorism and cause cancer.

"Critics condemned the entertainment giant, which produces scores of Hollywood blockbusters each year, for its "blood lust" and said the grotesque "sacrifice" highlighted increasing concerns over the content of video games and the lengths to which the industry will go to exploit youngsters."
I don't think ageing MPs count as industry critics. From reading this It says that critics condemned Sony for its bloodlust? If I were a critic I'd condemn them for their shitty release schedules, that fuck up with the backwards compatability and all those lies. Quite how the killing of a goat relates to exploiting youngsters is also mistifying. Maybe the goat was sacrificed to the Gods of retail sales? That's probably it. Also, I guess I'm a bit guilty of this too. On Saturday I ate chicken sacrificed for my Thai Curry. Yesterday I ate chicken sacrificed for a pizza. At least the Sony goat was sacrificed for something a bit more exotic than hunger.

"At the event, guests competed to see who could eat the most offal – procured elsewhere and intended to resemble the goat’s intestines – from its stomach."
Oh SHIT!

"The International Fund for Animal Welfare said it was "outrageous" that the animal’s death had been used "to sell a few computer games"."
OK assholes, this is where the arguments really beging to fall to pieces. I don't believe that a single attendee from the launch party from the goat to the topless women is ever going to have to buy a copy of God of War II. All the journos and such probably have their own copy given away free or review copies. The models were probably payed with copies of God of War II. The goat is almost definitely a Wii owner so it won't buying God of War II anytime soon. And what about the rest of the world. Well, there might be a case that the PR stunt would raise the profile of the game to sell a few copies but I'd only buy that if God of War II wasn't one of the most anticipated games of the year, with one of the most acclaimed prequels ever and almost unanimous very high scores. I doubt there is a sinlge PS2 owner out there who, until photos of this launch party were printed in the OPSM, didn't either know about how good this game is meant to be or that it even existed. Also, do the Animal Welfare people say anything but "outrageous?". I think that it's outrageous that the International Fund for Animal Welfare is using the animal's death at a high profile brand's launch party to "get more attention". Don't they have better things to do than comment on the use of farm animals for eating at a party? Hey, Animal Welfare guys! If you really wanted to be outraged check the meat section of Tescos. They use the sacrificing of thousands of animals to sell even more sacrificed animals! It's never ending there. Dicks.

"Former Minister Keith Vaz, Labour MP for Leicester East and a long-time campaigner against violent computer games, branded the stunt "distasteful and irresponsible". He said: "The slaughter of animals is not something that should be done to advertise a product."
What a surprise! Ex-MP (wanting a profile) with a history of using the false link between violence in video games and the degeneration of society (has to appear anti games) dissaproves of PR stunt by game giant (thus getting in the newspaper).

"The Sony spokesman said the animal had not been slaughtered for the event but had been bought from a local butcher by the Greek company hired to stage the event."
Oh, unlucky guys. Looks like animal welfare and former MPs are protesting against the procurement of meat from animals from butchers. This is going to be a tough nut to crack. We should genetically modify animals to be made of vegetables. Alternatively, butchers could sell veg? Oh but hang on. We're the Daily Mail, we instantly object to anything with 'genetics' in the title because it sounds a bit to much like science outside the realms of domestic science. Also meat gives you cancer.

"The offending article will be removed because of the "sensitivity of the general public over issues of animal welfare"."
They caved. But, come on. Who really cares about eating meat? The general public are too concerned with stabbing shooting and beating up each other, grannies, cats, everyone and rival 'gang' members. The average UK citizen would prefer "10p to phone me mum cunt" than write a stern letter to Sony about the eating of a goat bred for food, killed by a butcher and sold via the normal route of such food products.

"And in November, Europe’s justice commissioner Franco Frattini was so shocked by the "obscene cruelty and brutality" of Sony’s Rule Of Rose PlayStation game that he wrote to all EU governments urging tighter controls on the "dreadful game"."
Yes and he was pretty much branded a bit of a wanker by everyone in the games industry, all literate website and blogger people and even us. Then he didn't do anything and no one else did either because although all kinds of people who want a career in politics but who are too lazy to campaign about real issues that demand a grasp of a subject or some kind of research time after time it is found that: "A number of studies, including research published by DCMS today, have found no conclusive evidence that video games can influence children's behaviour. Due to ethical difficulties associated with exposing children to adult material, it is difficult to secure conclusive evidence either way—difficult, but not impossible." From here, by Keith Vaz himself. So what Keith is essentially saying is that he suspects there is a link between violent video games and fucked up children but he can't prove it because it's hard to commision research to let kids play games that they aren't legally allowed to buy for themselves in the first place. I think the same could be said for drinking, driving, pre-teen pregnancy, smoking, boxing, mountain climbing or theme park rides with a height restriction. Oh, point proved Keith. Point proved.

United in Gimps!


I have the pleasure of introducing our latest addition to the links section: Diversion

Diversion is an internet radio station run by official thatguys DJ, Kaiser Tia.

The station mainly plays Video game and anime tracks, and is ever so delightfully interspersed with the musings of the aforementioned Kaiser Tia.

There is also a competition every week where if you guess the music/sound effect you win a fantabulous prize…

The website itself has its own bloggy-ness and her latest post Gimps in videogames… has inspired us ay Thatguys to follow up and expand, so expect a Thatguys/Diversion collaboration to create the most extensive collection of gimps in videogames for you perusal pleasure.

Friday, April 27, 2007

More Fossil Pokemon!

You may have gathered that we are a bit gay for the pokemon and at the moment it's ALL SEVEN FEVER round here with Diamond and Pearl coming out soon (that should be "soon"). Aside from Nintendo raking in the cash by tapping into the weak part of our brains that actually looks forward to playing probably almost the exact same game for the fifth time there's two new fossil pokemon which hits me in that extra special, special place.

Here they are:
Bastiodon SICK





Ramparos
SICK


Bastiodon has been modelled on Ceratopsian dinosaurs and Ramparos is clearly inspired by Pachycephalosaurus. *sigh* Why do I care so much? Just-have-to -wait-until-July.

Its a new Lap Record!

Thanks to those wonderful people (retailers) who get in imported titles, I am now the proud (well not-so proud, as perhaps more insanely embarassed) owner of pokemon pearl. Suck on that Nintendo! Your hate of Europe will not stop me from playing your game!

In other news Kotaku posted this picture of someone in a bath full of wotsits, I found it hilarious (The picture that is, I have no idea what the article is in reference to. Enjoy:


Thursday, April 26, 2007

Why everyone needs oblivion


I mean everyone. This and you can set fire to dogs. SET DOGS ON FIRE (see here!)

Something old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Hey kids you may have seen our new feature (right) the shout box. Feel free to use it but try not to impersonate me or Richie and leave derogatory comments.

In other news LET'S ALL GO FUCKING MENTAL FOR THE END OF APRIL/MAY

That's right kids. It's almost gaming like we used to know and love. The gaming gods are smiling upon us


Something Old-4th May
Yeah!



Something NewLet's do this-27th of April




Something Borrowed-25th May
Alright!



Something Blue
Nothing really. It falls apart a bit here.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Two Stone Nintendo

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Why god? Why?

Rise to the challenge of our Rivals

So in Cunzy’s previous post he laid down a challenge:

"Richie is writing an epic Twisted Metal , Final Fantasy VIII kidz, Naruto, Speed Freaks, Star Wars Phantom Menace fanfic set in the World of Warcraft."

Enjoy:

Sweet tooth was driving in his usual dilapidated ice-cream van though Goldshire, when he noticed a bunch of kids fending off some Lvl 70 Horde Gankers. Now Sweet tooth being the nice psychotic freak that he is, decided he was going to help these kids as he didn’t like gankers, especially ones that pick on the poor little noobs, who don’t even give experience or count as an HK. Sweet tooth drove up to the lvl 70 Tauren druid, the Blood elf Priest and the Undead Warcock and promptly let of several volleys of machine gun fire and his “Special” (a flaming clown head missile). The gankers quickly realised that they couldn’t handle Sweet tooth as he was the equivalent of a lvl 72 Elite Boss, thinking that Sweet tooth must be some kind of World Boss with some Phat Epix, they ran away LFG.

“Quick kids get in, they’ll be back and I won’t be able to stop them next time” Sweet tooth hurriedly said.

The kids all clambered into the back of his van, all except one…

“What about that kid with the spiky hair and the skateboard, can’t one of you rez him?” asked Sweet tooth

One of the kids wearing a blue dress said, “Nah he’s fucking annoying, he thinks he can hold agro with just fist weapons”

Sweet tooth sped off in the direction of Duskwood, they were all relieved.

“So what are you names?” asked Sweet tooth.
“I’m Selphie”, said the girl in the yellow dress, “I’m a lvl 9 mage”
“I’m Irvine”, said the boy in dusty Trenchcoat, “I’m a lvl 10 hunter specialising in guns”
“I’m Rinoa”, ssid the girl in the blue dress, “I’m also a Hunter, I’m following the beastmaster talent tree, but I’m lvl 2”
“Oh”, said sweet tooth, “How come you are a lower level?”
“I fucked off for a bit and thought I was going to be an empress like my nanny, the others just kept levelling”

The kids quickly looked away from Rinoa in embarrassment.

“I’m Quistis”, said the girl with the glasses, breaking the awkward silence, “I’m a rogue, and I have not-so-secret leanings towards bondage and S&M”

And that was everyone introduced, except for one kid, who had been quiet the whole time.

“So what’s your name?” Sweet tooth enquired to the kid in the leather coat with the furry lapels.
“…”, replied the kid in the leather coat with the furry lapels.
Sweet tooth looked at him.
“…”, said the kid in the leather coat with the furry lapels.
Sweet tooth continued to look at him.
“…”, said the kid in the leather coat with the furry lapels.
Sweet tooth seemed angry now…
“…”, said the kid in the leather coat with the furry lapels.
“WTF! Kid! … is not saying anything! It is simply an ellipsis. A figure of speech in which a word or words needed for the sense or grammar are omitted but understood. Or in text: a set of three dots (...) that indicate the omission of a word or words, e.g. in a lengthy quotation.” said Sweet tooth angrily.
“Used in this context it means nothing! Are you simply saying nothing? I mean what are you doing? Just forcing me to repeatedly press X?”,
continued Sweet tooth.

“…”, said the kid in the leather coat with the furry lapels.

Sweet tooth reached into his jacket, pulled out a gun and pointed it at the Kid.

“Noes”, screamed Rinoa, “His name is Squall, he uses ellipsis to make himself seem broody, dark and mysterious, like Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and later in his own spin-off series.”
“I find it devilishly attractive.” added Quistis.
“My name is not Squall.” said Squall
“I wanna be called Leon” said Squall
“…”, said everyone in the van, looking around embarrassingly.

Sweet tooth and the Kids traversed the continent, levelling up where ever they could, they found pleasure at hitting a point where they were able to get the jump on some lowbie hordes and inact their revenge, in a way, against the level 70 horde. Together they laughed, they cried, they ran naked through Ironforge, they created a guild and set up a team speak server. All was good… Until one day…

[Sweettooth] has left the guild
[Guild] [Riona]: ZOMFG!!!1
[Guild] [Irvine]: No way!!
[Zell] Whispers: Who was that? Wanna do SM cath?
[Guild] [Squall]:
[Guild] [Selphie]: OMG, Does anyone know what happened?
[Guild] [Rinoa]: Not a clue I keep /w him but get no answer!
[2. Trade - City] [Cunzy_11]: WTB [Vibrator of Prostate Massage]
[Guild] [Squall]:
[Zell] Whispers: SM Cath? plx
[Guild] [Irvine]: He’s in 1k Needles
[Guild] [Riona]: Ok let’s tool up and go there!
[Guild] [Selphie]: Ok I’ll join you in a sec in a BG right now
[Guild] [Quistis]: I’m Cybering at the moment, I’ll join as soon as I can
[Guild] [Quistis]: Squall you coming?
[2. Trade - City] [Cunzy_11]: WTB 2x [Super Trigasmic Prime] + 3x [Nipple ring of Electrostatic Might]
[Guild] [Squall]: Yes… but please call me Leon…
[Guild] [Riona]: Ok everyone meet at Menthill harbour, We’ll get the boat across
[Guild] [Zell]: SM Cath, PLX!!!! I can tank, Just need Healing and DPS
[Guild] [Selphie]: Fuck off Zell
[Guild] [Irvine]: STFU Zell
[Guild] [Quistis]: Quiet Zell
Ultimacia has come online
[Guild] [Ultimacia]: Ha, I have come from the future I will inhabit Rinoa’s body and take over the whole world
[2. Trade - City] [Cunzy_11]: WTS [Pink dress of Bisexual Curiosity]
[Guild] [Selphie]: Not right now Ulty, We gotta go to 1k Needles.
[Guild] [Ultimacia]: Oh… ok anyone wanna do SM cath?

And with that our fearless adventurers set sail to the other continent and to Theramore harbour. They traversed the perilous Duskwallow marsh, side tracked only by killing a few turtles which Quistis needed mats from to lvl her cooking skill. They escaped the darkened Duskwallow marsh and into the taboo that is The Barrens, they found themselves surrounded by Lowbie horde chars…

[Guild] [Irvine]: WTF! There’s too many of them!
[Guild] [Squall]: Game over man! Game over!
[Guild] [Selphie]: Wait a sec! Look over there!
[2. Trade - The Barrens] [Cunzy_11]: WTS my body for tender abuse
[Guild] [Riona]: It’s (The Konoha Ninjas!)

(The Konoha Ninjas!) are a 1337 hardcore raiding guild believed to have mystically existed in the server since before WoW beta trials. They are quirky, all the members of the guild must have characters from the 4 most popular current animes, One Piece, Naruto, Bleach and Death Note, Older characters are permitted to use DBZ charcter names, but no names from filler episodes/movies.

[Naruto] (The Konoha Ninjas!) says: Hey guys! Dattebayo!
[Ichigo] (The Konoha Ninjas!) says: WTF are you guys doing here, this place is crawling with Lowbies! *Cough* Bankai
[Irvine] (GFs rot your Brain) says: Hey thanks for the rescue!
[Selphie] (GFs rot your Brain) says: We are on our way to 1k Needles, thank god you turned up! It would have been hell to corpse crawl all the way.
[Sakura] (The Konoha Ninjas!) says: Gomenosai, We’re on our way there too Oh are you there for the race?
[Quistis] (GFs rot your Brain) says: Race 0_o?
[Luffy] (The Konoha Ninjas!) says: Yeah it’s a world event all the top racers are competing! I wanna be Pirate king.
[Naruto] (The Konoha Ninjas!) says: LOWBIES! They are Rezzing quick Run! Dattebayo!

The group now teamed up with the Konoha Ninjas and armed with this new race information, the troops fled from the Barrens, down the great lift and into the Thousand needles. The Konoha Ninjas informed them that the only place that the race could take place is on the shimmering flats, on the old Goblin/Gnome race way. As they were travelling to the shimmering flats the group noticed that there were may people flocking towards the raceway, horde and alliance. It was a magnificent sight, there was no ganking, horde and alliance, hardcore and casual, PvPers and raiders, noobies and lowbies all were gathered to look on at the racing event.

[Guild] [Riona]: No way guys! Look how many people are here
[Guild] [Irvine]: Yeah laggy!
[Guild] [Selphie]: Can anyone see Sweet tooth?
[2. Trade – Thousand Needles] [Cunzy_11]: WTB BF for dry entry anal justice.
Announcer yells: Ladies and Gentlemen!!!!
[Guild] [Selphie]: Ooh its starting!
Announcer yells: Welcome to the first annual Blizzard Thousand Needles prix, The Goblins and the Gnomes have been working together to create the best cars possible with the mats the entrants have provided them with. So without any other further waiting on to the contestants!
Announcer Yells: From the guild (Retarded PS1 Mario Kart Rip-off) we have: Tabitha and Monty
Announcer Yells: From the guild (Jar Jar Anal love) we have: Annie and EwnMcGrggr
[2. Trade – Thousand Needles] [Cunzy_11]: WTS Anus for dry entry anal justice
Announcer Yells: From the guild (The Konoha Ninjas!) we have: SSJ3vegito
Announcer Yells: From the guild (Geology Rocks) we have: Mrdavebaker
[Dqghghds] Whispers: Buy WoW gold cheep! Love you long time. Will accept Paypal and pussy.
Announcer Yells: From the guild (We are not emo) we have: Sombrelove and Wildsatyrinane
Announcer Yells: And from no particular guilds we have: Ifrit, Doomtrain, Aizen, Harrytipper, Sweettooth, and Sefiroth.
[Guild] [Irvine]: There he is, on the starting line!
[Guild] [Riona]: OMG
[Selphie] yells: You can do eet Sweettooth!!!
Announcer Yells: The racers have taken their places and are ready to go!
[2. Trade – Thousand Needles] [Cunzy_11]: WTB 100x [Anal Mageweave Bandage]
Announcer yells: 3
Announcer yells: 2
Announcer yells: 1
Announcer yells: GO!
[Guild] [Squall]: What’s Happening Why is Sweet tooth not moving?

And now gentle reader, what was to come was, not a pretty sight… you see, Sweet Tooth, already had his own van already equipped and planned to destroy the contestants, but the horrible sight was not the strewn carcasses of the other players. It was:

*Disconnected from server*

To be continued?

Friday, April 20, 2007

NEWS ROUND UP

WORST LOGO EVER "News" from "this" week

A nice report via boing boing about how most games are now old games.

There have been an equal amount of PS3 and Wii consoles sold in space.

Thatguy's a Maniac, the world's second best videogame blog of all time is nearly one year old! Check out under "events" to join in with the birthday bash.

Hellbound Angels finally signing off. Or only one of them or something. Which I, er guess means that we won!

New Gears of War clan TFU (The Fuckest Uppest) are now top of the UK and US leaderboards. Well done boys and girls I knew we could do it.

Nintendo announce another Gamecube remake exclusively for the Wii. Man I can't wait to play another game I've already played but with spacky controls.

Everyone blogs about some shooting and videogames. Not us. We've taken the higher moral ground and gone for anime, anti-anime week. JOY FOR US!

And that's how, for now. Catch you next week and boy do we have a good show, exclusive interview with TFU's leader, a comprehensive walkthrough for Second Life including secrets! and exclusive video from the latest Disney's Dinosaur game and Richie is writing an epic Twisted Metal , Final Fantasy VIII kidz, Naruto, Speed Freaks, Star Wars Phantom Menace fanfic set in the World of Warcraft. Take care now kids and remember if you are going to shoot up your classmates save enough bullets for yourself! Ta-ra

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Anime is?

My Partner (non-gay), colleague and long time Nemesis has made a good point in his last post: this is a Videogames blog and not an anime wank-off.

Now I’ll admit that my original response the previous post was to collect several Naruto/Bleach/One Piece games and do some kind of video game review and to make it pertinent to the blog. But I stopped myself. Though I may find this war of anime post vs non-anime post incredibly hilarious, I started considering the so-called link between anime and video games…

When it comes to anime and video game franchises there is a chicken-and-the-egg scenario, it seems that if a show has certain elements such as plot, special powers or catchy characters there will inevitably be game, and if a game has similar traits then there will be an anime (though not restricted to just anime). Though it should be noted that both can have their roots in a manga comic books, particularly in the case of the original Dragonball Z: Budokai game which stayed true to the plot of manga rather than the anime, however since games will unavoidably use voices, these are taken from the anime.

So wherein does this link between anime and video games lie? I find myself constantly drawn back to one of my theories from a previous post describing the different factors which can make a game “good”

The Tie-In core: A game based on familiar setting, either based on a movie, TV series or a previous franchise, often notoriously bad, however if the developers have time to work on the title, or if the franchise can be translated well, garnished with the other cores, these can be good.
E.g Star wars Titles, any Sequel.

From this we can see that anime is a fantastic medium to draw inspiration for video games from. Anime has rich plotlines and story arcs, it has diverse characters with unique traits, and of course special powers. This means that if a computer game gets released based on an anime, people will be drawn to it to embellish their familiarity with the characters and plot, but on a more superficial level it also means that someone can actually use the characters special powers. The ability to go super saiyan 3, perform a bankai release or just repeat a special move from the show, caters to our own fantasies from the show. If we look at the reviews on gamespot for many of these anime-tie-in games, we can see that though the games may not be constantly inspirational or unique (e.g. simple beat-em-ups) nor will they have exceptionally high scores, the reader reviews will almost always be higher. This is based simply on the fact that the readers (assuming they have seen the anime) have familiarity, and knowledge of the mechanics in the show. Though It is all about getting the right amount of familiarity with the anime, I’m sure we all remember Ghost in the Shell for the Playstation one, I believe it was the worst game released on the PS1, correct me if I’m wrong.

However the reverse scenario is more complicated, and for this I will be venturing out of the realms of just anime and into “western” (apologies for the use of the word “western”, I hate using it as a distinction between Japanese and non-Japanese, we are after all in this world as the same and one unifying mind and soul… blah blah blah… anyways…) “western” movies and animation. Ok let’s start with the big one “the” franchise, the big daddy of all video games… Final Fantasy. We have the Final Fantasy: Spirits Within movie apparently based on the series… But no it was not, it was mediocre and had no familiarity to the games themselves, its plot was confused and stupid similar to that of the ending of “The Hulk”. Nuff said not touching this ever again. Another movie spawned from Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, this was a direct sequel to Final Fantasy VII, this included enough familiarity (geekery?) with characters, plot, locations, music to actually make it an awesome film. Though, of course, anyone who did not play the game would find the film confused and strange. Resident evil movies… not going here either, they made nemesis a good guy. Actually this is as far as I go with “western” movies I’m done (though Silent hill was not too bad). Anime based on games… Lets see what do we have? Darkstalkers, apparently quite good, though the “western” version was cack. . Oh and of course Streetfighter! Anyone who was a fan of the series had to have seen it, (after the dismay of the movie, but we are not talking about that anymore) and Chun Li got her tits out! Other games which have spawned anime, Megaman (Or Rockman as he is called in the “non-western” side), Sonic (sonic has apparently spawned many series spin-offs and different generations) and Lastly… Pokemon. Yeah had to happen, the game came out first but in a strange occurrence, though the series does remain true to the game, both the video game and series are independent of each other both with cult followings that do not necessarily intersect. All thanks to a little electric rat and its cute little voice, chuuuuuuuuuuuu.

So what have we learned here children? Fuck all… I believe I may have just pointed out that video games exist about anime, and vice-versa. And I’m sure y’all knew that anyway.

Note: there is also .Hack some anime game crossover trilogy or something… no idea though.

Utah Saints!

Richie: here to make you question yourselves and open you eyes to new horizons (not in a gay way though)

Mission-Get-The-Anime-Post-Off-The-Front-Page Part 4

Just after this is this amazing battle between the entelons and Dark Grayagoris. It's my favourite episode ever! My favourite anime show is Disney's Dinosaur. Although only one extended episode was ever made it still remains my favourite anime show ever! People often describe it as retarded and they slag it off in the anime forums saying that even the 41st episode of Naruto (the episode that everyone knows is at best non-canon, second series Pokemon good but nowhere near as good as 4th episode Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors, Finnish dub)is twenty times better.

But what do they know? Disney's dinosaur has some great animation and the storyline is compelling. Also no-one unexpectedly flies or discovers that they can blow things up using their Triante birth right.

Anyway the only reason it is on this blog, which is a videogame blog, not some kind of anime wank palace is that there is a game based on Disney's Dinosaur coming out soon. Here is a screenie.
This site used to be good. Now it's just full of shitty anime fanfics. This is what I have to resort to

How good does that look? It's a WoW beater anyday. I just hope that they don't ruin it by giving it an American dub.

Alazzar42 xx

"The closer you get to the light, the longer your shadow gets".

Mood: Depressed

Music: Listening to the extended Linkin Park megamix mp3. 78 days straight and counting!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Mission: Keep-Anime-on-The-Front-Page-To-Piss-Off-Cunzy Part 75

New additions to the Media section! check them out!

And to keep you going:

A Fanfic picture of Ichigo and Orihime gazing lovingly at each other.

Wnak...

Mission-Get-The-Anime-Post-Off-The-Front-Page Part 3

DINO Lilies! Raaaargh!Going back to earlier what about the other "minorities" that want a place to meet similar people who play videogames with a forum. The ladies have many places and so do gaymers but what about:
1) Blue Lilies- A blog and forum for gamers who like to play with blue avatars.
2) Dead Lilies- A blog and forum for gamers who have been, will be or are dead.
3) Wilting Lilies- A blog and forum for gamers who have no bones in their bodies.
4) Blooming Lilies- A blog and forum for adolescent male gamers who get the blame most of the time for all the ills of the internet and forums and MMORPGs even though they may not be to blame. For every sexist comment I see a gazillion adolescentist comment.
5) Lily Livers- A blog and forum for gamers who are but disembodied organs/aggregates.
6) Dino Lillies- A blog and forum for gamers who want to see more dinosaurs in games!
7) Black Lilies- A blog and forum for gamers with leprosy or frostbite.
8) No. I'm done. I've made my point.

Mission: Keep-Anime-on-The-Front-Page-To-Piss-Off-Cunzy Part 69

To follow on form my recent post, here is a pointless yet harmlessly funny and generic picture from anime:

As you can plainly see the picture shows Orihime, one of the good guys from Bleach, making a silly face with Ulquiorra, one of the latest antagonists, again from Bleach. I'm sure you can all see the delicious ironly of the picture.

The background is pink because Cunzy is a homophobe.

Mission-Get-The-Anime-Post-Off-The-Front-Page Part 2

So after something that happened on not the world's second greatest videogames blog, this not the world's second greatest videogames blog was set up. It's called guilded lilies and it's for women gamers and men gamers who might want to talk to women gamers and it's all about women and games. There is a forum and everything but it has to be stopped.


This list explains why:


1) Their logo looks like one of these (!). That's a full stop not some kind of mole
2) The last bunch of people who got together to start a forum for women gamers ended up doing this: DAMN WOMEN GAMERS BLEW UP THE DEATHSTAR!!

They blew up the frickin deathstar by employing their man robots. Stop the rebels! Save the Empire, queue the music

Buh, buh, buh, ber, be der de de der. Der der der der de-der de de-deh. DEH, duh, DEH, duh der-rud-der-dud der der der de-rud-der-dud der der dum der der...........

True confessions - Incoherent rants - Tyops - Part 3

You know people who do this “(!)” for sarcasm? Well stoppit… I have decided that (!) should be the new vagina smiley!

Imagine…

Barry says: Dude, Heard you and Claire went out last Tuesday.
Leon says: Yeah been a long time coming, and since Ada is out of the picture.
Barry says: Oh yeah, who would have though that John would come back.
Leon says: How are things with you and Jill, anything happening there.
Barry says: LOL!
Barry says: Dude, she’s screwed everyone… Wesker, Carlos, Chief, that guy that hides in the crate... Nemesis
Barry says: So how far did you get with Claire?
Leon says:
Leon says: (!)
Barry says: Nice!
Leon says: :D

Or…

Jill says: :’(
Claire says: Wassup?
Jill says: Well me and Nemesis were... “you know” last night,
Jill says: Oh I can’t say, It’s to embarrassing.
Claire says: Come on you can tell me anything.
Jill says: well…
Jill says: he said I umm smelled bad…
Jill says: …down there
Claire says: OMFG!
Jill says: Yeah… I really hurt me, I had been running about one day, at one point I forgot my Acid rounds and had to go completely the other side of town to get them.
Claire says: I hear that, I did the same with some explosive bow gun bolts.
Jill says: I mean he didn’t say it in so many words…
Jill says: he said “S.T.A.R.S”
Jill says: but I could tell by the look on his face.
Claire says: What a (!)
Jill says: I know :(

Or

Ashley says: …so did you ask Leon about the threesome?
Claire says: Yeah, something is bothering him, you know because of that time you spent in Spain.
Claire says: He’s says it could end up too complicated…
Ashley says: Pfft what a (!)
Claire says: Total (!), I mean who would pass up an opportunity to fondle our polygons?
Ashley says: Speaking of which… wanna come over?
Claire says: Totally!
Claire says: I’ll bring Super Trigasmus Prime

True confessions - Incoherent rants - Tyops - Part 2

As you may well know, the new transformers film is gonna have transforming iPods and transforming Xbox 360sWell… I saw this fucking excellent picture on Something Awful!



Now my issue is what would this guy be called?

Clitatron
Vaginator
Ultra Manless
Orgasmatron (I believe this is the name of those weird-spidery-head-massaging-things, so maybe not)
Stimulon
Vibrator
Dildonic Prime
Or Hot rod?

Apparently He will be able to be combine with Clit-suckerator, Butt-plug-a-tron, Lubinator and Maxiumus 240volt-plug-power-itor

To create...

Super Trigasmus Prime

True confessions - Incoherent rants - Tyops - Part 1

Right so pokemon Diamond and Pearl are due out in the US in a matter of Days… and us unfortunate uk-ians wont get the game till TBC in 2007. Gameplay have it pegged at June 1st, though I doubt any of us expect it then. So my question is a UK DS will play US games, is it worth importing to fulfil my pokemon desires faster? Will there be online problems if I do that?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Mission-Get-The-Anime-Post-Off-The-Front-Page

Well, I don't know about you but the 25th of May is in my diary, as is every other day of the year but the exception is that I've written "Tomb Raider" for this day. That's right Tomb Raider 10th Anniversary edition is coming out and it looks sexy as. Go to Gamespot to see some of the images. Yeah I know it's the same game but just look at it. Ahh!

Also this artwork is in their images section. NICE DINOSAUR GAME ART! In an unprecedented turn of events I'm doing an EDGE and reviewing the game right now based on one piece of artwork and the gamespot material. 10/10 GOLD. That's right buy it people. Buy it. That'll teach SONY to abandon the greatest console of all time.

I want to have sex on the beach, come on everybody. Sex on the beach.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Anime Update!



Yeah we have some links to anime and well Anime and video games usually come part and parcel with one and other. So as such I have decided to do a wee anime update as those crazy cartoons coming out of Japan are really something special at the moment. There are 4 major players on the anime scene at the moment there is: Bleach, Naruto Shipuuden, Death Note and to a lesser extent (due to fansub issues) One Piece.

First up,

Bleach.

Bleach has had it’s up and downs over it’s lifetime It started off brilliant, then it seemed to introduce far too many characters then it slipped into the anime void known as filler. However since around January Bleach has returned to the storyline and it is better than ever, It can be forgiven for a few misdemeanours, typical anime rules have been applied, suddenly all characters can fly when fighting, and the actually had some characters use a “Limit Break” recently.

Naruto: Shippuuden

After 2 years of filler it finally happened Naruto did a 3 year jump, all the characters have returned in teenage glory, it is currently only 9 or 10 episodes in but it’s already a breath of fresh air to what had become a quite stagnant series due to the filler.

Death Note

Death note is an excellent series, I would consider it like 24 with a supernatural twist. Each episode has a really fun and entertaining twist. The premise of the series is that there is a Book (The Death note) which when a name is written in it the person will die, there are many rules surrounding the Death Note. The plot gets even more entertaining when the main character (user of the death note) and the main antagonist (main detective of the worlds police) start an ongoing battle of wits with one and other. Currently there are 25 episodes and there is only supposed to be around 40.

There is also 2 live action moves (available with fansubs) which slightly change the plot (as they have to be fit into 2x2 hour blocks) but have been done excellently with fantastic special effects.

One Piece.

A crew of Pirates with year long story arcs, there are over 300 episodes (and 7 movies) now, and the series very rarely becomes a drag to watch. There has been some trouble recently where the series has over taken the manga (comic) and as such they produces throw in a few flashback or catch up episodes. Consistently good fun, and highly entertaining characters (Do not watch the Americanised version it has been bastardised fir kids to remove blood, smoking guns etc.)

Well that’s it! Go check them out and enjoy!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

A little late for the prize giving no? Still...

... it is the taking part that counts. Following Richie's stream of posts in the last few weeks I thought I'd take the baton and do a post of my very own. Here it is.

This weekend I was on the continent (what English people say when they go to 'Europe'. N.B. please don't refer to the English, Irish (or parts of), Welsh or Scots as 'British'. As far as I'm aware none of these countries wants to be associated with any of the others and the only time we might concede to being British is when England are knocked out of some sporting competition and we have to support one of the other British teams. Further N.B this only occurs when the English are knocked out. If Scotland, Wales or Ireland are knocked out of a competition they actively support whoever is opposing England). I won't worry you with the for whys but In one of the big electronics shops media markt I saw a site to behold- the videogames sections.

Unlike GAME or HMV or Virgin or wherever, the DS Media Markt section had every single DS game ever released. All in one place. The PS2 section has almost every single PS2 game and so on. I nearly took a photo but I was on my knees crying tears of joy at a sight I only imagined in my wildest dreams or some kind of industrious photoshop. You want Dino Masters? Here it is, have it! You want Ico and Shadow of the Colossus? They're both right here.

It was truly a magnificent sight. You see here in Britain (sic.) the DS section will more often than not comprise of six copies of the latest release and then single copies of Barbie Pony Farm, Kittenz or Zoo Tycoon. You want a copy of Mario Kart DS? Sorry but that was out ages ago, it's all about Bionicle Wars this week or Agey Brain Schooling Train University and How Trained is Your Aged Brain? I went looking for some stuff that I really should already own but never got round to buying the other day, including such big guns as the original Advance Wars on the GBA, Eternal Darkness and any/all of the Rogue Squadrons for the GameCube and King Kong and God of War and Tomb Raider Legend for the PS2. After trawling through 4 GAMEs, two Gamestations, Virgin, HMV and three Indie shops I found two copies of Tomb Raider Legend and a second hand copy of God of War that had what looked like pureed Custard Cream on the front. I think I imagined the Gamecube as a console because I only saw copies of the Bongo DK game and infinite piles of Tiger Woods 200something. Is it wrong for me to think that it seems difficult to buy good games these days? I'll grant you I'm not the primary market for games companies. I rarely, if ever, buy a game on or near release, £50 or £40 is a fucking rip-off and in a few weeks it'll be cheaper or on sale. But maybe, just maybe this is the game. Now I'll have to buy games on or near release because they stay on the shelves for all of two months unless Bandai or Mattel or whoever are willing to bung GAME shops £40,0000,00 to keep their games in rotation for longer. Or of course I could just go online.

Anyway, next time you are 'on the continent' eat more pineapple because apparently it helps to relieve period pains.

Tschus!