Nobody does a Daily Mail like the Daily Mail

If you haven't heard or read it by now the Daily Mail has gone bonkers over the Launch Party for God of War II. Here it is. Using my skills obtained through my GCSE History I will now highlight how this article is mostly gibberish and how the Daily Mail needs to stop feeding Daily Mail readers with this shit and turning them into those women who get angry when they don't have the correct change for the bus and then they start shouting at the bus driver as if it's their fault when in fact it's probably a bit of mid-life crisis mixed in with Post Natal Depression. Well, if you will have children at 45........

It starts

"Electronics giant Sony has sparked a major row over animal cruelty and the ethics of the computer industry by using a freshly slaughtered goat to promote a violent video game."
Has it? Does this major row appear anywhere other than in the Daily Mail? No. Perhaps it would have been better if the goat was a freshly slaughtered, then frozen by birdseye and then bought from ASDA? Probably not because then the Daily Mail would blame all the "bloody foreigners" that work at ASDA to fund terrorism and cause cancer.

"Critics condemned the entertainment giant, which produces scores of Hollywood blockbusters each year, for its "blood lust" and said the grotesque "sacrifice" highlighted increasing concerns over the content of video games and the lengths to which the industry will go to exploit youngsters."
I don't think ageing MPs count as industry critics. From reading this It says that critics condemned Sony for its bloodlust? If I were a critic I'd condemn them for their shitty release schedules, that fuck up with the backwards compatability and all those lies. Quite how the killing of a goat relates to exploiting youngsters is also mistifying. Maybe the goat was sacrificed to the Gods of retail sales? That's probably it. Also, I guess I'm a bit guilty of this too. On Saturday I ate chicken sacrificed for my Thai Curry. Yesterday I ate chicken sacrificed for a pizza. At least the Sony goat was sacrificed for something a bit more exotic than hunger.

"At the event, guests competed to see who could eat the most offal – procured elsewhere and intended to resemble the goat’s intestines – from its stomach."
Oh SHIT!

"The International Fund for Animal Welfare said it was "outrageous" that the animal’s death had been used "to sell a few computer games"."
OK assholes, this is where the arguments really beging to fall to pieces. I don't believe that a single attendee from the launch party from the goat to the topless women is ever going to have to buy a copy of God of War II. All the journos and such probably have their own copy given away free or review copies. The models were probably payed with copies of God of War II. The goat is almost definitely a Wii owner so it won't buying God of War II anytime soon. And what about the rest of the world. Well, there might be a case that the PR stunt would raise the profile of the game to sell a few copies but I'd only buy that if God of War II wasn't one of the most anticipated games of the year, with one of the most acclaimed prequels ever and almost unanimous very high scores. I doubt there is a sinlge PS2 owner out there who, until photos of this launch party were printed in the OPSM, didn't either know about how good this game is meant to be or that it even existed. Also, do the Animal Welfare people say anything but "outrageous?". I think that it's outrageous that the International Fund for Animal Welfare is using the animal's death at a high profile brand's launch party to "get more attention". Don't they have better things to do than comment on the use of farm animals for eating at a party? Hey, Animal Welfare guys! If you really wanted to be outraged check the meat section of Tescos. They use the sacrificing of thousands of animals to sell even more sacrificed animals! It's never ending there. Dicks.

"Former Minister Keith Vaz, Labour MP for Leicester East and a long-time campaigner against violent computer games, branded the stunt "distasteful and irresponsible". He said: "The slaughter of animals is not something that should be done to advertise a product."
What a surprise! Ex-MP (wanting a profile) with a history of using the false link between violence in video games and the degeneration of society (has to appear anti games) dissaproves of PR stunt by game giant (thus getting in the newspaper).

"The Sony spokesman said the animal had not been slaughtered for the event but had been bought from a local butcher by the Greek company hired to stage the event."
Oh, unlucky guys. Looks like animal welfare and former MPs are protesting against the procurement of meat from animals from butchers. This is going to be a tough nut to crack. We should genetically modify animals to be made of vegetables. Alternatively, butchers could sell veg? Oh but hang on. We're the Daily Mail, we instantly object to anything with 'genetics' in the title because it sounds a bit to much like science outside the realms of domestic science. Also meat gives you cancer.

"The offending article will be removed because of the "sensitivity of the general public over issues of animal welfare"."
They caved. But, come on. Who really cares about eating meat? The general public are too concerned with stabbing shooting and beating up each other, grannies, cats, everyone and rival 'gang' members. The average UK citizen would prefer "10p to phone me mum cunt" than write a stern letter to Sony about the eating of a goat bred for food, killed by a butcher and sold via the normal route of such food products.

"And in November, Europe’s justice commissioner Franco Frattini was so shocked by the "obscene cruelty and brutality" of Sony’s Rule Of Rose PlayStation game that he wrote to all EU governments urging tighter controls on the "dreadful game"."
Yes and he was pretty much branded a bit of a wanker by everyone in the games industry, all literate website and blogger people and even us. Then he didn't do anything and no one else did either because although all kinds of people who want a career in politics but who are too lazy to campaign about real issues that demand a grasp of a subject or some kind of research time after time it is found that: "A number of studies, including research published by DCMS today, have found no conclusive evidence that video games can influence children's behaviour. Due to ethical difficulties associated with exposing children to adult material, it is difficult to secure conclusive evidence either way—difficult, but not impossible." From here, by Keith Vaz himself. So what Keith is essentially saying is that he suspects there is a link between violent video games and fucked up children but he can't prove it because it's hard to commision research to let kids play games that they aren't legally allowed to buy for themselves in the first place. I think the same could be said for drinking, driving, pre-teen pregnancy, smoking, boxing, mountain climbing or theme park rides with a height restriction. Oh, point proved Keith. Point proved.

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