Book reading is turning all our kids into obese, gay, terrorists

Hi, my name is Cunzy1 1 and I have an axe to grind. I'm going to spout my point of view as fact and back it up with misinformation and uninformed hearsay. Today, I've got an issue with kids reading books, especially homoerotic books about wizards and dragons and the such.

Gone are the days when children would come home from school, play a few rounds of Quake 2 with their friends and then sit and talk to each other over a nice dinner between friends and families. These days kids are obsessed with reading books about 'wizards' who use 'majicks' to 'save the day'. They are becoming mindless zombies sat tranfixed with words on a page barely moving save to turn a page or to 'shoot up' some heroin which they learned from another book about drug abuse. People in bookshops don't care, they rarely check ID when the lazy slob children come in to buy the next installment of Manly McMan's book about shooting and killing real people from nearly real countries. The parents don't care either. They don't sit down and read books with their children they just keep buying them books so that the children don't notice when 'Uncle' Jenny comes round when Daddy is away.

Yet they maintain all the knowledge they get from reading books and what use is it? Dragons and terrorists don't exist in real life. This knowledge is useless. Also, it's affecting education. We all know that evolution, earth history and phylogeny isn't taught at school anymore but children just aren't playing dinosaur and other prehistoric animal games anymore they are obsessed with reading filthy books like Jurassic Park or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World. Disgusting. It's no wonder all our children are obese terrorists. My parent's generation certainly didn't read books and my generation dabbled in the written word behind the school sheds but just once to try it.

SAVE OUR CHILDREN! BURN THEM OR BOOKS

Comments

dr wo 69 said…
Children should be educated by playing Thrill Kill constantly.

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