Thursday, December 20, 2007

TGAM 2007 Awards!

TGAM, Once again breaking the mold of videogame blogging. That's right. This year we decided to have an awards system for video games. You know, like the ones for books and films. We're sure this idea is likely to take off in a big way. Remember reader, you saw it here first. So, without further ado here are the awards:

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best Touching

1. Juiced 2: Hot Import Nights
2. Touch Master.
3. Balls of Fury.
4. Cookie and Cream

Resident Evil: Deadly Silence
There wasn't much choice this year. To be honest the above DS games were chosen for their titles and the hilarious link with the word "touching". But this year we're going to give Resident Evil DS the reward retrospectively for the bits where you get to touch up Jill Valentine and she covers herself and gets a bit offended. Once again Capcom shows they know their audience and Jill is all the more titilating because she doesn't just stand there and take it (cough, Leon, cough, cough)

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best Menu Screen

1. Pokemon Diamond/Pearl
2. Tomb Raider: 10th Anniversary Edition
3. World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade
4. PlayStation 3

PlayStation 3

Some very tough competition this year, with Tomb Raider returning for some spicy menu screen action. However, it was Sony's commitment to supporting a machine which, by and large, is just a menu screen that scoops this prestigious award. Such was Sony's commitment that there are plans to make the PSP menu compatible in the future for some portable menu action. Congrats.

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best "White"

1. PlayStation 3
2. Wii.
3. Xbox 360.
4. Resident Evil 5 trailer.

PlayStation 3

Scooping yet another award, the PS3 has the best whiteness going. The PlayStation 3 beat the competition to this award because despite the platform's ongoing living hell, the largest problem being there are still no decent games for it, some wiseguy at Sony still got them to make a White version. It's like having 14 different colours of inflatible dart boards. It might go with your decor but it's still fucking useless isn't it?

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best Fanboy Baiting Hyped game which didn't really live up to prerelease bullshit

1. Bioshock.
2. Halo 3.
3. Assassin's Creed.

Assasin's Creed.

Simply put there was a lot of ranting and raving this year. Halo 3 arrived but more than lived up to expectations, despite the fact that it is still an arcade game. Bioshock was over-hyped to the max and very much this year's Oblivion for pre-release lies about in game behaviour and responsive AI. The game breaking alternate ending SPOILERS didn't help either. But Assassin's Creed takes the biscuits and the cheese this year. With a cinderella story fanbase: they came from nowhere, this game was hyped to the max, Jade Raymond is trying to sue Something Awful because she was whored out in a fashion she felt inappropriate but in the midst of all this a game came out that was not the game promised. It was shiny, it was playable but it was nothing like all those trailers that they started eeeking out what seems like 158 years ago. Assassin's Creed is now the poster child for marketing your game to fuckery whilst not worrying about glitchy horses and perhaps the worst stealth mechanic since "move into the dark dark shadows". Congrats.

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best Link to TGAM

1. Stupid Fucking Customers. (RIP)
2. The RAM Raider.
3. Diversion.
4. The Truth of the Peasant


Very tricksy this year. SFC would have won because we started a war with them but they were very nice about it and we didn't mean it anyway. But then they went dead :( Diversion has the honour of the only other blog on the internet which did a joint post with us. Which was nice. The Truth of the Peasant also gets props even though the link has subsequently been removed (probably because we didn't link back) :( RAMRAIDER wins though because for a while we were double linked but also because we're down as Industry Links. Which, is a subtle reminder to people that we are in the industry. Word RAMRAIDER.

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best Troll

1. Richie!
3. Cunzy1 1.
4. Richie.


Another hotly contended award as invariably all of the above have masqueraded as each other this year. However, the award goes to GIANT ENEMY GUITAR HERO for her persistence. Where others would have gotten bored GEGH kept on going and going much to the amusement of TGAM, at one point dragging in a few outsiders who genuinely believed there was a debate going on.

The 2007 TGAM award for
Worst Award Sham

1. That Wii Sports Strategy Sham
2. That Wii Sports Strategy Sham
3.That Wii Sports Strategy Sham
4. That Wii Sports Strategy Sham

That Wii Sports Strategy Sham

Perhaps the most contended award this year. As the years roll on there are more and more award ceremonies for video games and they all get increasingly worse. Celebrities aren't into gaming and if they are they look stupid presenting awards. Z listers only turn up because they don't have steady jobs so they waste all day on Civ. Anyway, this year, some award ceremony (I can't even be bothered to google for it. I care that little) gave Wii Sports the award for Best Strategy Game. Ultimate shammy sham since it's not even a proper game and it requires as much strategy as opening a door or clapping in time. Congratulations!

The 2007 TGAM award for
What happened to everyone yabbering on about this game?

1. Lord of the Rings Online: Some fantasy rubbish subtitle
2. Duke Nukem Forever
3. Command and Conquer 3
4. Manhunt 2

Lord of the Rings Online

There was a big shake up this year. We all know that the console gaming "community" are a bunch of feckless penguins jawing on about how different consoles are better than others and how Game X is a Game Y killer. They are a fickle lot of gobshites. However, this year it was the PC community's turn to play the feckless fanny. (FPS snobs aside), the very regal PC community is normally thoughtful, reserved and over 40 however, when potential WoW killer LotRO came out all the high brow blogs dissected, discussed and fawned over it like it was a precious new born baby. For about a fortnight that was. Then everyone quietly went back to WoW, a little ashamed that they'd got so excited about the "other" game in the first place. Well done LotRO:SoA!

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best way of humiliating Halo American teens over Xbox Live

1. Call them fags
2. Trash talk about their moms
3. Beat them in the game
4. Call them Canadians

Call them Canadians

Despite what you might read, technophilic middle aged liberal women aren't the only ones who get abuse whilst playing Halo. Everyone does, especially from Southern Americans and voice-breaking teens. This neck of the woods we get shit for being "British". Thing is we don't set up a network of British only blogs to whine on and on about it. Try as you might, stooping to their level is normally ineffective but we've discovered if you keep calling them Canadian, singing the Canadian national anthem and saying 'Aboot' a lot they get hot under the collar and start to play badly and lose their 'too cool for school' slurring throw down abilities. This dis FTW!

The 2007 TGAM special award for
Women in Games

1.Cunzy1 1 for Deconstructing Weak-Ass Arguments about gaming on the Internets #48
2. Richard Cobbett for Writing A ‘Girls In Gaming’ Article
3. Richie! for DANGER: Women in Games
4. Cmdr Zorg for Sega had access to a celebrity

Cmdr Zorg for Sega had access to a celebrity

Yes it now has it's own TGAM award it's that important. Our rantings hardly count for a nomination but we couldn't be bothered to trawl through all the shit out there to find two more worthy articles. Richard Cobbett gets a nomination because he stole my idea but made it funny and had nice pictures and was accepted with loving arms by the women gamer community, where as my babbling rants got no attention and Richie!'s caused a stir. However, Commander Zorg from Uk:Resistance wins because he is the only one on the internet who can be sexist and funny and get away with it. That and Cunzy desperately wants to have UK:R's children. I'm surprised no one has accussed us of just copying them a lot because essentially that's what we started off trying to do. Fuck it. Just read UK:Resistance from now on.

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best Sound effect

1. (The Patronising) Blood Elf Female Laugh. TBC.
2. Chainsaw Lancer. Gears of War.
3. Fucked-up-a-note. Guitar Hero 3
4. Hit-the-Ground-from-afar. Skate

Blood Elf Female Laugh.

The Burning Crusade came out last February, and 11 months of that laugh and it still gets me every time. For those of you who don’t know the BElf Female Laugh starts off normally but then trails off to a condescending sigh. Further highlighting the aloof and vacuous nature of the BElfs.

The 2007 TGAM award for
Best Boob Physics

1. Guitar Hero 3.
2. Heavenly Sword.
3. Pokemon Diamond/Pearl.
4. Mass Effect.

Guitar Hero 3.

Surprise Winner here, purely because we at Thatguys were pleasantly surprised to see, not only the addition of Slash, but also some much needed Jiggly Jumper Puppies. We tip our hats to the girls of Guitar hero, Judy Nails, Casey Lynch (Dead Men) and Midori. Thank you for having jubblies.

'Til next Year.

Luv N' Hugs

Richie & cunzy

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Merry Christmas

With Christmas imminent I've got to do the work of everyone else who has "gone home" to hang out with their "friends and family". As such I'll be too busy to do many updates. So this may be the last one of 2007 from me. Don't hold me to it though. Watch this.

There's Christmas trees and shit in it at the end if you need a link between what we write and what we put up for you to wtch/download/listento/wank over.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3

See that blog title? That's what you can expect from TGAM: cliched post titles. That and tits. Anyway, today I am proud to bring you an interview with someone who properly works in the Games Industry, unlike us scrotes who sit on the periphery. Below is an interview with a lady who has had years of experience in games testing and went on to set up her own games testing company, which, is widely regarded as one of the best QA Testing companies around and doesn't let schlep pass through the door and out the other side unlike other companies. She has chosen the synonym Jill Valentine for this interview which, sure is nice for us because it's like Jill was actually here.

C11: Hello, Jill, welcome to TGAM.
JV: Hello. I'd like to say it's nice to be here but....

C11: Isn't games testing just an opportunity to get paid for playing games?
JV: Yes and no. Do you remember some of the ridiculous time limit challenges in the original Goldeneye that you had to complete to unlock cheats and other bonus stuff? You ended up memorising the whole level and would force a restart if you got stuck on a corner for that extra key second. Well, imagine playing one of those levels of Goldeneye over and over and over again. Using every possible weapon/object and standing in every nook and cranny and seeing if you could break the game. You have to speed run levels to test the spawning and scripting and you also have to play as slow as possible. And everything in between. Most games testers can't stand to play the games they've tested again because they're sick of it. If games were films, test audiences would have to sit through films sped up, slowed down, in every other language for days on end. That analogy was quite poor actually. Games testing is nothing like film screening to a test audience. Another key difference is that if a test audience hates the ending it will be changed. If games testers hate a game story it'll pretty much remain unchanged, be hated by reviewers and then hated by the great unwashed.

C11: So, here at TGAM we blame a lot of the shortcomings in games on poor play testing. Is it fair to say that titles with game breaking glitches is just down to shoddy play testing?
JV: More often than not it is purely down to time constraints, it's all very bureaucratic in the QA industry. Everybody wants to put pressure on someone else, marketers, publishers, developers and the further up the food chain you go the less they know about the game. All they have is a spreadsheet with numbers demanding that Title X be out in time for the Xmas rush regardless of quality. Expect to see a lot more of this in the near future as more and more publishers are merging.

C11: How much creative input do testers have? If a poor clone game comes in for testing, is it encouraged for testers to point out that this is a bit of game X and some of game Y but not as good as either?
JV: That's tough but a good point to raise. When I started working as a tester it was really dependent on dev cycles. Some companies have been through developer hell and their game is two years overdue, half the staff have jumped ship and they put it through testing almost as a formality. It's shipping anyway, the release date has been set by the publishers and there's no time to fix the bugs that testers find. It was partly this factor, which led me to set up my own company. So now when we get a game in I encourage the testers to put in any feedback they think necessary. So, like in your example, we've fed back to developers saying "Look your game is the lovechild of a poor man's GTA and a last gen Poker game. And it's worse than either of those games". After the initial shock, they often come round and in one case some of the Lead Tester got to go back to the drawing board with the developers and ended up feeding directly into the structure of the game. Ideally, all the games we get to test would be like that. More often than not though we're told in no uncertain terms that Game X will be on the shelves by Date X.

C11: So how is it that games like Top Trumps Dogs n Dinosaurs ever get released?
JV: There's no need for play testing for a game to be released. There is a relationship between how smoothly a game plays and how well it is picked up at retail but if publishers think they can knock up a cheapo horrible game and con enough people to buy it to make a profit, they'll go with it. Testers will grudgingly make sure it plays on your machine and has a title screen and you can save games and whatnot.

C11: The enigmatic confused granny?
JV: Precisely, you can all whinge on and on about it on your precious blogs and forums, but at the end of the day, if Ubisoft, or whoever, were losing money on all those film tie-ins and pet simulator games you wouldn't see new ones on the shelf quarter in and quarter out.

C11: So if we want to stop the dross we've got to target Grannies who think their Grandchildren would like Petz 4: Frogs and Stick insects?
JV: Ha. Yes. Target the Grannies. Perhaps you should set up some evening classes to inform them all about the evil of the £5 game.

C11: Is becoming a games tester a good way to break into the games industry proper?
JV: Testers are the front line of the industry, without QA the industry would collapse. And yes, it's a good way to break in the same way that playing a character in the Bill is a good way to break into Hollywood. That's a no. The answer is no. The people who make games are some of the most highly qualified personnel in some pretty obscure areas, as yet there is no real formal route into making games but this is slowly shifting. Formerly, it was the bedroom programmers of the 70s and 80s who ended up as the CEOs of games developers and publishers. More recently it has been the rising talent picked up by those bedroom programmers but now that there are degree programs and such it's harder for those truly creative talents to stand out on their own unless they happen to go into formal games degree programs. Having said that though, there are many testers who I have known who have ended up in the games industry proper but it's merely because whilst they were testing to earn a wage, they were otherwise knocking up builds and demos and mods for a folio in their own free time. It's purely because most game testers have an interest in video games that they do testing but to break into the industry (in the UK at least) you gotta have more than a deviant art page and work experience testing games. But I will say that your chances of 'breaking' into the games industry because you spent 10 years as a tester or lead tester are slim to none.

C11: So testers are the unsung heroes of the "Gaming industry"?
JV: Yes and no. I mean, let`s make it clear individual playtesters are disposable but they can make a great game flawless and a good game "polished" but they can only make a bad game work.

C11: So how come we don`t see "Playtester of the year award" at any one of the 1456 gaming awards ceremonies?
JV: Yes. The awards. More award ceremonies than any other media. None of which are good and all of which seem to be less than above board.

C11: Yeah GRAW-gate and that recent strategy award rubbish. At least there``s an Oscar for making credits on films.
JV: Really?

C11: Yeah some old woman won a lifetime achievement award for doing credit rolls. Everyone was like "Yep. Woman knows how to do credits".
JV: Wow. Maybe there should be an bug-hunter BAFTA or something.

C11: What about the NAVIGaTR awards? Should the UK have such an institution?
JV: Have you seen their award shows? No. No definitely not.

C11: Okay what's the latest games you've been working on and what's the ending?
JV: Well, normally I'd be breaking all kinds of agreements by telling you any of this but since you asked nicely, we're working on Horsez 2: Heavy Petting and the latest Sponge Bob GBA tie-in game.

C11: I don't believe you but thanks for spending the time. Did you know you are only the second real person to be interviewed by TGAM?
JV: It's a pleasure and thank you for your semi-compliment.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

DANGER: Women in Games

Woah, now there is a lot of female attention happening in the games industry at the moment. Like we need more… Seriously I think girls have got their quota in the games industry and are recognised enough nowadays.

Girls have:

1. Personalised Systems, such as the Pink DS and a variety of Pink Peripherals.
2. A selection of shite games, Pony Friends, Barbie shopping, Cooking Mama etc…
3. Zelda?!? Apparently??!?! The Phantom hourglass is advertised as one of the DS’s “Games for Girls”, when the fuck did that happen? Why does the fairer sex get this franchise?
4. The DS in general, all titles for it seem to cater for girls in some way.
5. The Rezibator. Guys are not allowed attachments to games to get them going (apart from the guitar in guitar hero).
6. An unfair advantage in MMOs, due to all the guys being desperate.
1. [General] [Legolaas] ZOMG!!!!11 Nerf Girls they are IMBA
7. An inbuilt ability to multi-task.
8. The “years of persecution” card which they never play, but you know they will when they get a chance.
9. Not got the completionist chromosome.
10. Boobies.
11. They die later than men so they can get more play time out of games.

Not content with these things, it’s getting even more hyped-up as more and more girls within the industry are piping up. Recently we haven’t been able to surf anywhere without some comment about Jade Raymond, as post-adolescent boys blog about their unquestioning, unwavering, loyalty to Ubisoft. All in the vain hope that one day they could sup upon her crotch paté. Maybe now we can understand why Assassins Creed got such high scores? Yeah fair enough she supposedly helped in the creation of Assassins Creed, and it just so happens she is not that bad to look at. And on that note, we have Morgan Webb, who is bitching because she got to her position (as a host for some gaming thing no-one has heard of, Kudos Webb) based on her looks and not her game playing prowess (which she implies are more commendable). She actually makes some reasonable points about how her looks have got her ahead in the industry,

“Because boys like girls, straight up. Because Nerd #14 getting hired at Kotaku; not a story. Hot chick? Story. You talk to her about why they're a woman in the gaming industry. Guys all think, "Wow, wouldn't it be great if there were more? Even though she'd veto my triple-X busted woman that I want to put in this video game.”

Insightful no?

But to be honest I can’t really take her that seriously because her nipples are weirdly placed and point in different directions:

And for good measure I did a search for her on Flikr and found this rather flattering picture:

And it doesn’t stop there; all sorts of crazy online gamer-chicks are getting all pent-out-of shape about boobies. Exclaiming that Soulcalibur IV is disgraceful that the boobs are double the size of their heads, at this point I would like to point out, since you girls are new to this “gaming” thing that there is a HUGE difference between concept art and in-game graphics, so before you get your blood-ridden-ooze-encrusted panties in a twist, take a little time to compare the subtle differences between a drawing and a screenshot:



I won’t deny that she is well endowed, but guess what, there are women out there that have big boobs, it happens. And you know what… Guys will also be taken aback by them because big boobs appeal to us. It’s a primal thing part of the mammalian brain (not a pun on mammories or a joke, this is serious, boobs create a primal stirring, and if they are bigger/more noticeable then that stirring is more apparent.) But of course if you have issues you can always play as Cassandra (oh look at that, the game developer included someone with “normal” sized boobs, really sexist aren’t they).

Boobs and boob physics have been incorporated into most modern games such as Ninja Gaiden, Soulcalibur, Dead or alive, Tomb Raider (the new ones), Final Fantasy, Resident evil and even Guitar hero 3:

Pictured above: Judy Nails from Guitar hero 3, the boob physics incorporated here are not overly noticeable in game, however to get and example of it select Judy Nails as a character then proceed to the guitar selection screen, as you scroll through each guitar her boobs will shake slightly.

Now most people will argue that it is only women-with-small-boobs that have issue with big boobs in games, but then inevitably you get other women ranting on about the negative body image portrayal in games (these are usually just the ugly and/or fat women). Which is stupid on a number of levels, firstly games are based on fantasy there is no room in fantasy for ugly girls, bare in mind that they throwing fireballs, wielding giant swords etc. If the size of boobs is the only issue you have with the realism in the games then I would suggest a slight re-shuffle of your priorities. Secondly, returning to Soulcalibur as an example, considering that the girls are fighting and are quite athletic, agile etc. It would seem that they should be quite trim and in shape, some fat chick that doesn’t look after herself, wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m sorry but equal opportunities are out the window when you are playing as people that are in their prime, looked after themselves, train every day etc.

It’s not like you are gonna have a cripple in a wheelchair competing with Jin Kazama? Or a retard using his “Mong” attack on Jenova?

Feminism… Can I ask when the fuck did that become a good word? In my book most “ism” or “ists” are just other words for “collection of bastards”. I’m not a Masculinist, you don’t see me complaining that Kratos creates a negative body image, he makes guys want to go out and take Steroids.

It might be that fact that guys have been in the industry longer than girls, and we have a more mature standpoint than girls, but we know that it is a game, we know that we are never gonna be as buff as Ryu. Because it’s a game. It’s a game based on fantasy. It’s not real. If girls wanna grow up to be like Taki, remind them that anorexia is not the way, but working out is… Geez. You would think with the way all these chicks are banging on about it that girls minds are more fragile than boys. And because of that, guys have to suffer, this is not give or take, this is the industry, Girls you did not join the industry to change it, you joined it because you liked it. DON’T. FUCK. IT. UP.


Word Up!

You may have gathered but we here are gay for Capcom. One of the many facets of that relationship is that they love to have crossover cameos that make girls like us gush like that lift from the Shining, except with green and bloody douche juice. Here's a selection that we could rip from the internet.

PantsHere is the excellent Frank West, in his pants, in the mediocre Lost Planet. This image is from gay gamer. Perhaps they have dreams about Frank West too?

Seen itThis is Dino Crisis character Regina in Resident Evil 3! IT'S NOT REALLY IT'S JUST JILL DRESSED UP AS REGINA. It's an important distinction to make because you may be surprised if the cuffs don't match the collar in your dreams.

SAD SMILEY FACEHere is Megaman. IN DEAD RISING. We are sad when we think about Megaman and sadder when Capcom do things like this. Of all the good franchises to include as a cameo you choose the worst one. 4/10

S.T.A.R.S It's the Nemesis in Under the Skin!Under the skin was average at best with the exception of the Raccoon City level which was awesome. 9/10

EMO Emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo.

How does it feel Joe to be overshadowed by a cameo character? Ha! SCHiewtiful Joe more like. Corker.

The internet wouldn't let us rip images of Jill Valentine in Pocket fighters or images of some more capcom cameos in We love golf. Stupid internet. Stupid Capcom.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Gears of War: the Chainsaw argument.

I’m getting pretty pissed off with Gears. There was a short lived few weeks after everyone was bored with Halo 3 online and went back to Gears, and it was all good player matches were fun, ranked was still full of arseholes, but that’s to be expected. Now everyone seems to have settled down online and it seems that only Gears of War fans are really playing online. Normally this would be a good thing, however there is still one burning question:

To Chainsaw or not to Chainsaw.

The Chainsaw argument, is an unconventional argument, as in there is no fucking argument. Either it is tolerated or it is not. As far as I can see no-one likes being chainsawed, and quite rightly so it is a little humiliating, but that shouldn’t be grounds for online abuse. These are the main issues I see that people have:

1. No skill involved.

BULLSHIT. Admittedly all it takes is pressing the “B” button, but getting yourself close enough to Chainsaw someone is a feat, usually you have to dodge Snipers use scare tactics, though the best one is when you get up behind a sniper that thinks he has got himself a good position.

2. It’s “gay”

Oh this is a great argument, is it any gayer than dancing about with 2 shotguns waiting for one guy to get/hit with an active reload.

3. It’s “IMBA”

That’s because it’s an OHKO. Yeah but ONLY if you get up close, and plus there are loads of tactics you can use with it, fair enough its only one of a few weapons that can kill you without an active reload, the others being the Boomshot, Torque Bow, Sniper, Shotgun, Hammer of Dawn, Revolver and Frag grenades. Which leaves the pistol, smoke grenades and the Hammer burst as the only “Balanced weapons in the game”. Yeah that’s sounds great.

You know what… I’m done.

Arseholes make me hate Gears of War.

Monday, December 10, 2007


So that's that then we now know what games to expect (or not expect) under the Xmas tree this year.

Mario Galaxy
Assassins Creed
Call of Duty 4
*cough* Pokemon Battle Revolution.

This leaves us looking forward to just one thing, 2008 Release’s. And I use "Release" in all its literal forms, especially the sexual one though. My personal choices of games that will give me dirty thoughts and make me touch myself in that special way. Are:

Devil may Cry 4, They released videos and pics with actual Dante in them! And he speaks! And he has a wooshy charge up sword thing, and the guy playing was rubbish, and I WANNNA PLAY IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOW!


That’s about it, thanks for tuning into out 2008 update.

All other games are academic.

Friday, December 07, 2007

From Starlight to Twilight

As I have mentioned in posts previous, in the UK at least, the PS2 is in it's twilight months. Despite many homes having one under the table, despite the PS2 only really finding it's feet in terms of both graphics and gameplay with late releases like Final Fantasy XII, despite developers and publishers promising to support it after "next gen" it's nearly game over for the PS2. At least on the high street anyway. Go into any game shop and check out the PS2 section. The only new titles are cheap copycat shams targetted at the "casual gamers" or the hypothetical confused grannies. Yes I mean you, Alvin and the Chipmunks game and Petz 2 and World Series Poker 2008 and Hot Wheels: Beat That and PDC Championship darts 2008.
Those looking to preowned section will also be dissapointed with the glut of average and obscure games. On a recent trip to the stores I couldn't locate copies of Resident Evil Outbreak 1 or 2 (I know they're awful) or the latest two tomb raiders. Fortunately, online outlets exist but I really enjoy the sensation of going into a shop and buying a game plus I'm very finnickety with the games I buy in terms of which box it has, which disk etc. With online ordering you never know if you're going to get an original copy of the game or an awful Player's Choice, Platinum or Eidos Rebound box which ruins the "lined-up-on-the-shelf-aesthetic". Also, I think game shops should take a leaf from music and bookshops. Imagine if HMV only stocked the latest CDs and Movies or Waterstones only sold the most recently published books. It would suck. For the PS2 this spells death. There's virtually no visibility of titles in the stores and I suspect it's because game stores want to sell people £50 games and £70 peripherals and not £10 older games. So for the PS2 the long night comes early. However, for a limited time only you'll be able to pick up many titles, recent ones, good titles, for relatively cheaply just before they slip off the precipice into the world of £40 for new copies of old games land. So strike now reader whilst the iron is hot! Stop whinging about no games for the Wii or PS3 and games that rely on online connection for the XBox 360, go and pick up all of the GTAs on the PS2. That's months of AAA gameplay that will make you feel guilty for jumping in bed with the shiny shiny next gen so quickly. Today I would like to highlight another such title that you might be able to pick up for a fiver brand new and which offers something very few next gen titles can. That game is Mashed...

Nil point for the not shadows

Released over three years ago now, Mashed arrived with very little preview cover or hype. EDGE gave it an 8 and PSM gave it a 9 but it wsn't heavilty marketed. You could have been forgiven for not noticing it. The only reason TGAM picked it up was through playing it as part of the Demo Challenge (the rest of the Demo challenge was abandoned as we loaded up the timed* demo over and over and over for five mad minutes of carnage).
After buying the game proper we blasted through the single player (which, although entertaining was merely in order to unlock all the tracks for multiplayer), plugged in a multitap and played for hours. The game is very simple, like micro machines (before things went askew after micro maniacs) without the scaled down approach. Put simply it was great fun to play and still is. Brilliant level design (Ventura B'vard is our favourite), intuitive controls, the inspired air strike and taunting are a recipe for success and of late it has been one of the few titles that has warranted the dust to be blown from the PS2 to fire the girl up again.
So if you can, pick this title up, grab three friends and enjoy one of the best multiplayer games on one screen and let voice chat, connection problems, friends codes, griefing, rebooting, controller charging become a distant memory for an evening at least.

*Hopefully, the age of the timed demo is over but at one point it was "the thing" to give players a brief 5 minute go with a game before ending a demo and queing the marketing info. Doesn't sound too bad right? Just replay it? But this was also at a time when 2 minute loading screens would top and tail the demo session. Don't want your demographic associating your game with being unhappy? Don't force them to sit through loading screens you bastards.

Blah, blah, blah

Regina! Don't make me violentDiscerning readers may have caught wind of the latest study confirming that there is a positive correlation between exposure to violent media and violent behaviour.
The study was undertaken by L. Rowell Huesmann at the University of Michigan, funded by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and published in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

In an uncharacteristic manoeuvre we actually got hold of this journal paper, unlike most of these scummers, and had a read. And what you find in the report is not what is being bounced around the web, cut down into bite size chunks for morons like you and me to read, comment on and then ignore.

The paper was good but didn't have any images. There is only one typo, which, although unfortunate isn't entirely unexpected.

There we go, yet another example of high fidelity Gaming Journalism from the World's Second Greatest Video Game Blog of All Time, That Guy's A Maniac.Eye see you

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Jeff Glooberman

As about 2 of our 5 readers worked out, I recently wasn't fired but was sham fired, mirroring the recent oxymoronic Gaming Journalism integrity fiasco over at Gamespot. If you don't know the haps by now, basically, some guy called Jeff Niderman, who is/was some kind of editor over at Gamespot, did a text and video review of the much hyped, always looked-like-it-would-turn-out-mediocre, game, Kane and Lynch:Dead Men. Kane and Lynch: Dead Men was published by the "haven't done anything good since Resident Evil 3:Nemesis" publisher Eidos. The review gave it a 6 and Jeff Groberlein repeatedly described it as ugly throughout the video review. Then after some initial grape vine rumours it turns out that Jeff Gleistmeyer was unceremoniously fired at Gamespot and as it happens around the same time, "thanks for ruining Tomb Raider" publisher Eidos had also planned to do a big marketing campaign on the face of Gamespot for Kane and Lynch: Dead Men. The gibbering hordes then put 2 and 3 together and got 8 and went on a spree accusing Gamespot of being dishonourable, Eidos being petty and Jeff Luberjeister was hailed as some kind of gaming hero because they assumed that he had been fired because the big bucks (ha!) Eidos had pressured the corporate Gamespot to get rid of him-who-judges-a-game-fairly. Within seconds there were countless tribute videos on Youtube and numerous Gamespot staff tried to express their loss through a series of emotionally immature articles, including one comparison to the loss of Jeff Naberasker as the destruction of a city in Sim City. What a fitting tribute! Meanwhile as Eidos and Gamespot shrug their shoulders in a "I don't know what you're talking about fashion", the sensless gaming community went on and on spouting about boycotts of Gamespot and all other CNET sites which is stupid because boycotting Gamespot, Metacritic and Gamefaqs leaves you with sites like Joystiq and IGN to get your up to date news and reviews. Good luck. Then in a bid to not be outdone, a small community of True Gamespot Fanboys tried to shout above the crowd saying that they liked Jeff better and that this firing is the latest in a string of big losses for Gamespot following the apparent loss of other staff members with typically American names in recent years. Apparently when Ryan, Zack and Karl left Gamespot it was the beginning of the end no one listened though because at times of crisis the gaming community just likes to shout loudly like a bunch of drunk howler monkeys. At the same time everyone was pretending that they knew who Jeff Grubschter was, even though the only "person" that people know at Gamespot is Guy Cocker because he is named after TGAM favourite GIANT EMO GUITAR HERO. Pretending that anyone knows who the people are is ridiculous. You only go there for the news and videos. No one reads the reviews anyway past the big number on the top right. At this time a ridiculous subsidiary site also fired one of their members of staff over a controverisal review after which, 2 readers they never knew they had, crawled out of internet anonymity to make comments either with extreme tongue in cheek humour or genuine misunderstanding the parody which was followed up by a weak ass post that was too in jokey and then another post which was over inspired by the Zero Punctuation review of Assassin's Creed. Meanwhile, Jeff Graberpatcherman did a overly modest "it's about the integrity" spiel which deranged fanpersons lapped up even though at any given time over the last one and half years, said retards could have gone over to THE RAMRAIDER to find out how truly knee deep in shit back stabbing criminally negligent Games Journalism can be. But throughout the whole thing no one mentioned the true crime at the heart of gaming as it stands today, that is that Resident Evil 4 should really be Resident Evil 5, or Resident Evil 6 if you count zero as one when Capcom gets round to re-numbering all of them. Shame on you gaming community. Shame.

Them's the haps.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Reviews totally unrelated to any recent loss of staff members

Naruto: Rise of a Ninja

Follows the Protagonist “Naruto”, ninja from the hidden leaf village, though his training as a boy through to a slightly older boy. It’s like GTA but with cartoon ninjas, and no cars.

Thatguys Review: 12/10. It’s amazing even though this game has been developed entirely on the 360 from the ground up they have made the graphics look as good as a PS2

Beowulf: the game

Like the Movie but you don’t get cool specs to see it in 3D. Doesn’t feature any of the original voice cast. The plot is disjointed. Feels like a generic 3rd person fighter, but more sluggish.

That guys Review: 9/10.
All you could want in a slow, incoherent 3D fighter.

P.S. We have no idea who published these games.

Cunzy11, thatguys part ways

After nearly 2 years of news, reviews, awkward ramblings, Pokemon fanficcery and Vaginal/games development, Cunzy11 editorial director's tenure ends; TGAM editors address controversy surrounding his departure.

The past week marked the end of an era at TGAM. After several years working his way up through the ranks, Cunzy11 tenure as co-writer has ended.

"Cunzy11 was a central figure in the creation and evolution of TGAM, having written hundreds of incoherent ramblings, and occasionally sorting out the links bar," said Richie, Co-writer of TGAM. "The award-winning writing team he leaves behind wish him nothing but good luck in his future endeavours. Homophobe."

Due to legal constraints and the company policy of TGAM, details of Cunzy's departure cannot be disclosed publicly. However, contrary to widespread and unproven reports, his exit was not a result of pressure from a certain developer who may (or may not) have been happy with the tone of one (or more) of our reviews.

"TGAM has ever allowed its sponsors to affect its editorial content," said Richie, TGAM Entertainment's vice president of Sextoys. "The accusations in the media that it has done so are unsubstantiated and untrue. Cunzy’s departure stemmed from internal (ruptures) reasons unrelated to any sponsor, developer or otherwise affiliated with TGAM."

"Though he will be missed by his colleagues, Cunzy's leaving does not affect TGAM's core mission of delivering the crudest news, occasional video content, picture reviews, and biased reviews in games journalism," said Richie, executive producer of TGAM Live. "TGAM is an institution, and its code of ethics and duty to its users remains unchanged."

Monday, December 03, 2007

For your Mrs.

Well she's got to do something whilst you amass over 25000 gamerpoints....

Friday, November 30, 2007


So you may have gathered from the title of this blog and many many of the posts that go with it that we are fans of the Resident Evil Series. It goes without saying. So we were midly excited to see the first videos of Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles. You get to play bits from all those Resident Evil games again! Check the latest video here.
Now as much as we love the series and won't have a word to say against it (excepting requests for DS remakes), we are getting a little bit sick of seeing this guy:

Again!The first zombie you encounter in Resident Evil. His iconic putrid face marked the beginning of a genre (Alone in the Dark doesn't count). The cutscene he appears in marked only the beginning in a long series of games from the fundamentally broken Outbreak to the unanimous greatness of Resident Evil 4 (secretely Resident Evil 6). Killing him with a knife in the original was both tricky and a taster for the rest of the game. And then again in the directors's cut. And then again on the PC version. Starting to lose appeal on the Sega Saturn. Then again on the GC rehash. And again on some mobile phone pish. And then once more on the DS. Oh and with the latest release you have to kill that fucker again in Umbrella Chronicles.

Talk about flogging a dead zombie. This guy deserves his own machnima, or at least an entry in the Game Hall of Fame. He must be up there in the most killed enemy of all time record books.

So aside from endless repetition in the name of virtual "achievement", counting the number of iterations of this poor zombie you have killed may be a good measure of Resident Evil Fanboyness. This could be used to avoid future confrontation amongst the Capcom masses. You'll know to back down if someone has a higher FZK (first zombie kill) than you, even if they are cosplaying Claire or diarrhea Jill. At the moment TGAM are on a joint 4FZK. However, Richie may overtake with UC. What's your FZK?

Voice of Mario does other things.

As you may have heard the dude who does Mario’s voice is doing an autobiography. As it turns out Ol’ Charlie-boy is a huge fan of “That guy’s a Maniac” and has given us these excerpts:

*Warning Spoilers*

“One day I went into Nintendo for a voice-over job.”

“I put on a really stereotypical (bordering on racist) Italian voice.”

“I got the job”

“I did it for a few other games”

“And they all lived happily ever after”

Thatyguys rating: 7/10

Thoroughly good read, all the way through it you are amazed that such a small story could be padded out to a whole book.

The book loses its charm because in you head it is all spoken with a thick Italian accent.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Not funny.

Dear Mr Rick Brookes,

I would like to point out several reasons why the above comic strip from today’s Metro is uninformed and unfunny.

#1. Wii’s are sold out, not many people can relate to this comic.

#2. In an attempt to email you to explain these points I could not find your website… This leads me to believe you do not have one, and as such this confirms my suspicions that you are technologically impaired.

#3. The whole crux of this joke is based on the assumption that the guy would actually buy the Wii for himself and that the Wii is a masculine machine… Again you are showing complete ignorance in this sector. Get with the times man! His bird would probably be more exited about the Wii than the flippin Chocolates ore perfume.

Dude… just don’t try any more.

P.S. Your drawings are kinna shit.

Silent Hill continues to rock!

Silent hill origins came out last week.

But rather annoyingly only on the PSP. So we at that guys have scrambled around in our cupboard of freebies and dug out our PSP (still in its box), part of us was glad because there is actually a reason to use the PSP!

So we break out Silent Hill origins and start that bad boy up! And it is amazing! It follows the story of Travis, a truck driver. Who is getting caught up in the events preceding the original Silent Hill.

*Spoilers… Right up ye*
If you have played the “previous” silent hill games, you know that Alessa is Dahlias Kid, and that Alessa was burned alive, well the story takes place from this moment onwards. Dahlia, Dr Kaufmann, Lisa are all in it, but younger. Alessa is kicking about there to.

The Graphics are actually quite good, as with most PSP games (according to what I have heard) it’s a mix between PS1 and PS2 graphics, a sort of PS1.5 which is great because it is reminiscent of the original silent hill.

Gameplay is more of the same, constantly being freaked out by music, ammo, monsters, and health. More so than any other game I have played. Though they have added some quite innovative new things. Number one is that melee weapons are now only good for a few hits then they break, there are also single use weapons, like typewriters which you use to hit the enemy for massive damage.
Thatguys Score 8/10 (Highest/only score ever for a PSP game, all PSP reviews will be done using Silent Hill: Origins as a holotype for PSP games)


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

A Worthy Entry

But Dacav still has the title for best Tetris remix yet. This one is good, the vocals mix it up a bit but as with a lot of Electrance the repetitiveness kicks in. And your talking about Tetris in the first instance which isn't amazingly varied. It needed a bigger ramp up to. Possibly, the B game theme could have flitted in as a bonus for those able to mark subtle auditory mix ups.

Last Christmas

This christmas is gearing up to be a good one and already it's very heavily video game oriented. The TV is running Hitman the movie ads almost every ad break and the trailers for Assasin's Creed and Need for Speed Pro Street are popping up quite a bit, as well as others. They seem to be good adverts too, grown up ads, no longer the reserve of horrible ALRIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT American voice over tat or Sony wankery they used to be.
Ho, Ho, BUY OUR GAME PLEASE This month's EDGE has an interesting schpiz on marketing for games and how much money is thrown at the great unwashed on marketing alone. Up to 15 percent of a game's net receipts is spent on marketing and for titles released worldwide for christmas up to £7 million is being spent. Recent discussions with Giant Enemy Guitar Hero suggest that PR and advertising may be the way to go about getting your game off the shelves regardless of unfulfilled promises by developers and publishers in pre-launch hype. The oft cited poor initial receptions to the likes of ICO, Grim Fandango, Psychonauts and Freedom Fighters is testament that word of mouth and good reviews won't guarantee sales success alone (and/or a sequel).

But how effective is it all? I won't be buying any new titles this December. £50 for 360 and PS3 games is just offensive. £40 for Super Mario Galaxy may just be worth it had I the inclination. Guitar Hero III and Rock Band are gonna set back some of the Jones' a pretty penny. And goddam DS titles, will your price ever drop?? Scratch that, goddam Nintendo games will your price ever drop? Why is there no second hand Nintendo market? Is it because there are never a glut of good games or do Nintendo players horde their merchandise by nature?

No, this Christmas I'll be aiming to pick up some cheap PS2 classics before they dissappear from the high street altogether . I've got all the GTA Stories to pick up for prosterity as well as the latest two Tomb Raiders. I should really get Resident Evil Outbreaks too. Was tempted by the Prince of Persia box set and I should really have picked up the Silent Hill box set by now. Not to mention ridiculous dinosaur related DS pishness. Oh and I've still got Eternal Darkness to pick up. Ha! Gamecube games. Good luck.

Oh look another Hitman ad. I suddenly want to go and see it.......

Monday, November 26, 2007

Shit the bed

Shit it like a polaroid picture. Props to Chuff_72 for showing me how Christmas is going to get even more expensive since this post. Yes that's right Sea Monsters: A Prehistoric Adventure for the DS.

FUCKAdvance apologies to my niece and nephew but it's another 11% towards my life dream. When you are my age you'll appreciate that I went for it. x x

Review from the box art: Tricky. Very tricky. Could be amazing if done in an Endless Ocean kind of way. Probably going to be a bit dodge-modge kind of like a Tamagotchi but with even less functionality than eat, poo and sleep. COntains prehistoric monsters 9.5/10*

*The use of the word "monsters" over extinct mesozoic marine fauna loses the 0.5 point

Incontinent Gay Nonces

Yes, those perverts at IGN, spurred on by creative juices and out of the box thinking are doing another Top 100. Let's hope they are doing the list by the rules. Let's check:

1) Don't ever mention Zelda or Metroid. FAILED. Number 78 is Link's Awakening. I suspect the top 30 will be littered with metroids and zeldas. Come on IGN sort it out.

2)When everyone least suspects it pull out a really shitty retro game to fuck off all the youg'ns. PASS! Number 70 is Tecmo Bowl for the GB and NES. Yes, that's right it is better than Wipeout, Goldeneye, Quake 2 and the original Resident Evil.

3) Ignore all PC games except the crappy Molyneux games that no one really played or enjoyed anyway. FAIL. They've gone for some other shit like Syndicate, Mech Warrior 2 and planetscape:Torment. Selling out.

4) Cram in as many "Great but underrated" games as possible. PASS. Hello! ICO.

5) Put at least one of the Final Fantasies, other than VII above VII in the list.PASS. Final Fantasy II is at 55. I suspect VI will be up there. VII by contrast is at 76.

6) If you are American, inexplicably put Madden at the top of your list. If you are English do the same with Championship Manager. TBC. Tricky to judge as they are only at 50 at the moment. However, Tecmo bowl and NHL 94 are already on the list. I suspect Madden will be high. Probably not top. Hopefully not top.

7) If you are talking about a game series always include the one before the most recent one released. PASS. There are a whole bunch of silly sequels and prequels there. Also, games released before December 2006 are not covered by this top 100 for "perspective". Fuck off you idle cunts. Pricks.

8) Lightly sprinkle your lists with only-in-Japan releases. FAIL. So far so good. But I suspect it's because IGN Australia are co authors of the list and they are all racist cunts.

9) Somehow, manage to put Killer7 on your list. FAIL. There's still scope for it yet though.

10) Put WoW on the list, unfairly much higher than Everquest even though both are worse than EVE Online which you should never have on your list in the first place. PASS. It's number 83 which should piss some people off.

So far IGN has 5/10 neccessary ingredients and conveniently they are halfway through the list. Lets see if they can get 10 and prove to us that they are the assholes we know them all to be. Not wanting to be beaten by the retards over at IGN. I pulled this "top ten" out of my arse this morning. It's entirely arbitary, contributes nothing to the greater world at large. The difference is that I KNOW THIS. I don't think IGN do.

Cunzy1 1's Top Ten Non lethal Weapons in Video Games.


10) Smoke Grenade Gears of War. Yes ultimately pointless. Often forgotten but used almost exclusively for the shame value of getting smoked just before you get executed. We love it.

9) Pants Vacuum Ape Escape 2001. Yes. The objective was to vacuum the pants off the naughty apes and put them in the washing machine. Winner.

8) "Paintbrush". Goldeneye. Despite many many hours of trying, this author could never get this to work. Don't pick up any other weapons or ammo. Pick up the sniper rifle and tap A twice. Then James would wield what was apparently a painbrush but was actually his arm on the wrong way around. According to the internet. You could actually do damage with it though but I wanted it on the list to show how L337 I am because I know obscure shit about a really popular game.

7) Persuadatron. Syndicate. Like Pikmin but with uzis.

6) Riot Shield. Red Faction. Well. You could do damage with it but fuck you. This is my list.

6a) Prod. Worms. Yes the ultimate in shame. Prodded off a cliff to death. Difficult to pull off though without messing it up.

5) 103 Pound Mightfish. World of Warcraft. See here for the low down.

4) Maeda's Gun. Parasite Eve. This gun did little to no damage for most of the game. On the 6th day though it kicked ass!

3) Oil Spill. Every Karting game ever. The little fella you drop to make karts behind you wobble a bit. It's true. Not really top ten material.

HA! Want head?2) Head Masks Dead Rising. Coming in a variety of flavours, Frank could whack these on the heads of zombies rendering them both comical and useless.

1) Fire Extinguisher. Timesplitters. Yes the winner by far. The fire extinguisher was of little to no use, unless you were on fire, which was rarely. Great.

See. Pow!

That Guy's A Maniac: Helping to fill the internet with pointless shit.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Last Night

Last night TGAM had their first ever official online encounter with each other. Gears and Halo 3 were the games. At one point we teamed up and showed the rest of the online community exactly how you play. TGAM STYLE. The pictures tell the story. We're the Red Team, Team Blue is Team 'Sidekick' (Duffin and Chuff_72) and Team Green were the guys who tried hard but weren't very good (Mr Cyclopse and TLK ToRnaDo Jd)

Setting the precedent really Yes within literal seconds we were shooting at each other.
Ha take that Richie Then we were using vehicles.We were committed to eliminating each other.
Oh dear We managed to stop shooting each other but only when the opportunity to drive around like idiots presented itself. This screenshot here is the result. That's me that is.
Dead The other teams were dazzled with out L337 skills and fury.
BAM! We easily won. The score was something like 54 kills to us. 3 for the other teams combined. We don't need to prove that we are the best any more thanks to everyone who tried. We'll see you at the world championships next year!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Help Needed

Below is a chat conversation between myself an Cunzy in response to the previous post about Terra Nova:

Cunzy 11: I just, I just, Hate them
So much

Richie: lol
Cunzy 11: Hate hate hate
Fair enough if they ju argghhh
Wanky bollox
's rubbish
Richie: I never read TN
Cunzy 11: It's like TGAM except not funny or pertinent
Or anything

Richie: Hmmmmmmmm
Deliberately doing something pleasurable which you know will cause others pain (e.g. ganking)" from Terra Nova
Cunzy 11: Pfffffffffffffft
See my comments on that post

Richie: Its a gank or be ganked world... Deal with it
Cunzy 11: I know
Don't whinge about it
But doubly don't try to define it
They try to define it to themselves
Chat to any normal gamer and they won't care
They'll say
I was ganked/fraged/ninjad
They don't care

Richie: no
-ing is wrong. Well wrong
Cunzy 11: Exactly
And it's different in WoW or Baldur's Gate or Timesplitters 2 split
point in defining it
OR NOT DEFINING IT. That's another point they never do. They just say. This needs defining. Lots of bollox with crappy referencing then "what do you think" and then everyone disagrees

Richie: I see what you mean, griefing can't be generalised
Cunzy 11: Here's what I said:

I think you have your chronology all topsy-turvy.

Many gamers and/or virtual world inhabitants were familiar with camping, spawn camping, looting, TKing etc. well before the term griefing became the much banded around term it is today. I also think you need define the demographics that use the term 'griefing' in the senses you defined above and name virtual worlds associated with those demographics.

If you are talking about Second Life, sure. I think WoW and some others can be lumped in there too. But you can't make these sweeping assumptions which may strike a chord with TNers but aren't true across all platforms.

Richie: Yeah I read it
But In TNs defence, they are only talking about MM
So in that case there is more
interactions with Random folk
ir point is that "everyone should be nice to each other"
People like that just
can't deal with the harsh cruelty that is that the "reality" is that it is a GAME
"Accidentally causing others pain through error or incompetence (e.g. Leeeeroy)." From Terra Nova
Leeeeroy was not an accident
Plus if it is an accident... gez
not like you were setting out to fuck everyone over.
FFS everyone can have an off day

Cunzy 11: Yeah but
They have to look at all games

Richie: no
Cunzy 11: Not just MMORPGs or not just that little selection
Richie: That's what terra nova are about? Just MMOs?
Cunzy 11: What about Pokemon? Animal Crossing? Scrabble?
Richie: Different
Cunzy 11: How, Mario Kart DS
ynthetics worlds, MMOs, MMORPGs,Social Worlds, MUDs, MOOs, and MUSHes
Richie: because... well in most cases there is a lot more time and effort gone into them.
In the case of WoW
You have to spend £9 a month
, griefing can really be escalated
and to get good rewards you sometimes need to rely on random strangers
Cunzy 11: So, you have to play an Xbox live subscription
It just the thin end of the wedge

Richie: Xbox live is different
styles of games
Cunzy 11: And MMOs are so closely related to other games and steal and share concepts and ideas.
Richie: On XBL rewards are often achievable with griefers, and achievements only come in the form of gamerpoints
Cunzy 11: In some respects but look at their themes. I would say you can get equal interaction in Gears or Halo
But they don't just go on about
collecting epic gear.
They go on about emotion, interactions
, avatars.
Nothing MMO specific
ell in WoW you can't even virtually touch anyone!
Without fireworks or dodgy contact visualisation

Richie: No I would say most of those Terra Nova points were MMO specific
eah and there is a reason you cant touch anyone, fucking griefers would block the roads
Cunzy 11: But there are examples of this in online FPS's
Richie: Such as?
Cunzy 11: One guy was forced to spend three hours in a cupboard on CoD3
His team mates blocked him in

Richie: Ha
Cunzy 11: Didn't want to get bad rep for quitting
Richie: He could have logged
Cunzy 11: Just had to sit there
Richie: pffft
... griefing is more Rife in MMos
In Online games
like CoD, Gears etc there is more of a team ethic
In WoW
it's a selfish thing ALWAYS
all about YOUR gear
Cunzy 11: But griefing is much better displayed, more graphic outside of MMOs
In WoW
, Not EVE online or second life
Richie: Well in all MMOs.
In Eve and second life because
it's all about you
Second life
doesn't count, its a glorified Chat room. It has no achievements
Cunzy 11: WoW has no achievements
Richie: WoW is achievement based!
Cunzy 11: What about all the stats for FPS and/or cash, rank
More of an achievement because it isn't just dependent on the time you spend clicking on rats

Richie: lol
Cunzy 11: You know what I mean tho
Richie: yeah but in FPS YOUR stats can rarely be influenced by other people
Cunzy 11: It's entirely influenced by other people
Richie: not at all
ets take number of headshots:
is just purely dependant on your skill
Cunzy 11: Your skill against others
In wow how is that influenced by anyone

Richie: Yeah the enemy...
Kill or be killed
WoW, if someone fucks up in your team, you wont get the rewards
e. better gear for game progression
I'm gonna stop saying "in wow" as we
ll... it is my only reference
Cunzy 11: but to progress to what? End Game where everyone gives up until level 80 is released?
Richie: nah, there's more to the endgame now
Cunzy 11: Like?
Richie: plus with the patch for speeded up levelling most people are suffering from ALTism.
Once you get endgame, these are different paths you can take
for reputation with factions, no one is going to do ALL of them, but I suppose you could if you wanted
Cunzy 11: NPCs great
Richie: reputatiom = rewards = money = funding for guilds, alts, or getting prettier sets, repeccing your character etc.
Cunzy 11: But you could do most of this on your own right?
Richie: no
Cunzy 11: They still haven't really cracked doing good things with guilds imho
Or interesting things

Richie: There is only a certain level you can do by your own
Yeah true
Its just an online community

Cunzy 11: It's just you need to come together for the group grind
Richie: no
Cunzy 11: So, we've digressed a bit. But set in this framework how much can you read into these interactions when the motivation for a lot is stuff
Not people

Richie: In a guild there will be lots of different people at different levels of endgame
it's a
handy place for gathering people together for instances.
Cunzy 11: BUT ONLY AS
Richie: Plus Guilds can pass on knowledge and strats to people who don't know how to kill certain bosses
on that note, I rarely do instances and I rarely acknowledge my guild
I much prefer the solo aspect
can do a lot just in PvP
I can't get new recipes/patterns/materials etc for upping my character
I don't really care
I really just like the PvP.
You are forced into a group, and
forced to team up.
All of you have the same goal
An at the same
time you get to use proper SKILLS to defeat your opponent
Cunzy 11: So like Gears then
Except you use proper skills
Not ones you bought and then shortcutted

Richie: you are generalising again
let's say i bought a fireball Rank 12
I still need to know the right time to use it
It has a 2 second cast time, so there are time
s when you have to use skills that have less of a cast time
I need to know when to
I need to choose my moment to freeze opponents where they stand
I need to position myself at a point where
I can maybe get longer casting and more powerful skills in there
are loads of abilities that different characters have
And knowing how to counter them can sway fights
the same in instances, they have made them different it's no longer a case of: the tank tanks, the Healers heal, and the Casters cast.
Cunzy 11: But then you lose the need to co-operate if you can just co-operate with anyone
Richie: Not really its more on-the-fly co-operation
can't take on 3 enemies
Unless they are shite)
neither can, lets say a warrior...
So we work together to take them on
People are all over the place in BGs
They need to be
Collecting flags
Tagging bases
It is more Gears-y the PvP.
But in gears everyone is
I would never return to the days of 40 man raids and waiting for people to get ready and being forced to sheep a target because if
I don't we KNOW that we will wipe
PvP utilises all your abilitys and it takes skill to know when to use certain things

Cunzy 11: Ok what about TF2 then?

Cunzy 11: team fortress
Richie: Haven't got a clue
Cunzy 11: Dude. Get with the lingo
Richie: Never liked Half life
Mind you
I only played it for 10 mins
Cunzy 11: Not really half life anymore. But it's a FPS but everyone is not balanced
Isn't it the same as WoW except you choose your nuances in five seconds rather than 37 days
Richie: Yeah but those EIGHT days you are playing lets you decide where and what you wanna do
WoW is
very expansive
Hell you can just get to lvl 70 and then level another character
ome people don't like the end game they just like the plot
ANYWAY. We have digressed somewhat
. Again.
don't like being on the defensive side of WoW all the time
I am more used to arguing against
hardcore players
We should totally blog this conversation
Copy/paste (fix tyops)
Jesus HOLY christ!
Thats an epic conversation

Cunzy 11:Yes yes it is
Now I can see the appeal of reading Terra Nova

Richie: lol, and there we have our ending....