Cunzy1 1’s International Periods of Gameplay Chart

Now that we are getting properly old it is increasingly hard to find time to play games. Previously we used to divulge in SESSIONs, MISSIONs and the odd HIT would catch us out. These days a daily SKIT would be nice. The day before yesterday I was struck by a HIT and boy did I suffer the next day. Whaddya mean you don’t know what I mean?

Cunzy1 1’s International Periods of Gameplay Chart


0.01 minutes-1 hour; A SKIT
From the daily tasks of Brain Training, Nintendogs & Animal Crossing or a quick mission on Timesplitters, the Skit is a good way to live your life and keep playing games in the interim. The Skit is the favoured length of play time for casual or busy gamers or those with partners who take ages getting dressed to go out/have a shower/sleep in till 12 on weekends.

Between 1hour-4hours; A SESSION
Be it a Half Life 2 episode or good old multiplayer Micro Machines, a Session is a good way to spend an evening solo, with friends, lovers, housemates or workmates.

Between 4ours-6hours; A MISSION
A Mission is a dedicated evening set aside for making progress in RPGs, action adventures or on Xbox arcade. From Kingdom Hearts to Metal Gear 6 hours should give you enough time

Between 6hours-12hours; A HIT
A Hit will quite often sneak up on you. You get in from work; fix a quick bite, sit down to play Champions of Narroth or GTA then POW! It’s five in the morning, it’s light outside and you have work again in 3 hours. This is your minds way of letting you know that you should factor in some more Sessions or Skits to stop it happening again.

Between 12hours-48hours; A RAID
Personal hygiene starting to go out of the window here. A raid occurs with rare frequency with “normal gamers”. Perhaps on the launch day of a new console or big title (expect many Raids and a minor blip in the economy around Halo 3 day as everone pulls a sickie). We end up on a Raid every time the Maniacs get together. At least time is allowed for toilet breaks and meal times. Afterwards you literally feel “game dirty” and you don’t want to see or touch a PC console or joypad again for a long time. You just want to wash, eat nice fresh food and live your life again until a month later…..

Between 48hours-weeks or months; A SLave Drive
You probably “play” Second Life, WoW or another life eater as your main job or as a sideline to being unemployed. Showering is out of the question in case you miss anything or because you can’t afford not to farm for that long. You are probably single, or will be soon. Breaks are allowed to check the market prices on your gear, IM your partner, order a pizza online or via phone and to download patches. Seek help it just ain’t healthy man, it just ain’t healthy.

Comments

  1. Anonymous16:04

    Judging by the title I thought this was gonna be a follow up to the "Super Princess Peach 2: PMS adventure" post.

    I would also like to add the, GAY - 0.00 - end of cutscene, in the morning before work when you think you've got enough time, only to realise it's an hour later than you previously thought, leading to a mad dash to find some clean pants...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous18:00

    Gears is seriously turning into an addiction, I had one day off and had lots to do, the house was a shitpile, really it should have been tidied and bins out etc etc, but its was just staring at me, its big brick of a power supply was impossible to avoid, "Turn me on" it whispered,
    "Just for one game."
    OK, just one or two online matches maybe then I'll do something.






    13:00 hours, Chuff phones,
    "what ya doing?"
    "Playing Gears. Oh shit Chainsawed."








    16:00 hours,
    "What ya doing?"
    "Playing Gears. You like that! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!"









    18:30 hours,
    "Chuff its on, get up here!"









    00:00 hours
    damn bed time now.

    I did achieve alot, 25 perfect active reloads, curb stomped a lot of Americans and learnt alot of the multi player maps.

    I hadn't had a good sess for ages, ohh it felt good.

    ReplyDelete

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