WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS GOING ON?

What is the point in having an E3 or a Serious Games Summit or any of these events when BEING A GAMER IN EUROPE IS LIKE BEING A MONK IS LAS VEGAS. It’s hard to find a nice new habit to buy, no-one will give be a bowl haircut. There are no bible, or other religious merchandise, shops. Also the “churches” they have are an insult to real churches.

What I’m trying to say is that following this post and after certain comments from Chuff_72. I have a big beef with four, lets call them, people: Mr.Nintendo, Mr.Sony, Mr.Micrsoft and Mr.GAME. I’m willing to put aside all petty grievances and differences and I think gamers of Europe should come together and rebel! (Although exactly what form this rebellion will take is beyond me? Maybe we should all buy gizmondos and Dreamcasts until the four evils give in to our demands.

Mr. Microsoft.
What the fucking fuck are you doing? You have had a YEAR (and counting) headstart on the other next-gen console (I say other because a name, a new controller and an empty plastic box , does not, a viable console, make) and what have you done with it? WHAT have you done with it. This was your chance to WOW the world and poach as many Sony and Nintendo fanboys whilst they were forced to wait. You should have had a blockbusting game ready for launching every time Sony announced a new delay. In fact, you should of held back the most wanted titles specifically for this purpose- you could call the promotion: There Sony One Next Gen Console Wednesdays. How’s that for a marketing idea? So what have you done well lets have a look. Three 9+ games, a bunch of multiplatform games. Well done you.

You’ve been working so hard on impressing the world with your next gen technology that gamers have nothing but apathy for your console. Absolute disinterest. In fact you are so unnappealingly dull that gamers are buying PSPs and DSs to fill the void until the real next gen turns up. We’d much rather wait for Sonylies console and Nintendoinvisible console than take a look at your offering.
In theory it should be great. With Xbox Live and that thing with all the amiga games for download. Since the Dreamcast, you’ve had a monopoly on online console gaming. The gamecube famously just forgot to be online and despite quotes of x million PS2 online users we know it’s more sony lies.

Where is Gears of War? YOU CAN’T JUST WAIT FOR HALO 3. What you should of done is waited until you had some good games. By good games I mean truly next generation. Not old games but shinier, not multiplatform games but shinier, not even retro games. Truly, awe inspiring new games that would have gamers getting that little sick feeling in their stomach like the first time they turned their PSX's on.

NEXT TIME Mr.Sony. Oh Mr.Sony you've been a very very bad boy.......

Comments

chuff_72 said…
Ah the Gaybox, it really is/was a great console, shame Microsoft decided to kill it just when it was starting to get some momentum going, Half Life 2, Doom 3, Ninja Gaiden Black, then BAM! A hollow-point to the temple. That dog wasn’t even allowed a chance to shine.

So what do we get to replace the much maligned machine, the Gay60, lets think about it for a second… No, no I can’t quite picture it, the Corporate blandness of it’s off white, slightly curved body (though not enough to cause comment) occupy a blind spot on my gaming horizon. The most daring thing about it is the breeze-block power supply.
If you turn your head just slightly you may catch a glimpse of it doing star-jumps in Leicester Square, and for a flash of a second your attention is drawn, the wonders of Oblivion and … you know the one with the thing in it…

Then the Sonylies Gaystation rolls up with it’s cock out shouting look at me, wearing a “Me-too” t-shirt, before succumbing to testicular cancer and being carted off amid rumours of a new faster, slimmer version. But HEY, at least it’s INTERESTING, and ENTERTAINING to watch possibly the biggest blunder in gaming history.

Oh yeah, lest we forget with the new HD-DVD add-on the Gay60 only costs £5 less than the premium PS3.

Notice there is no mention of the Gayii, well because I’m still not sure what it is yet! It looks like a portable PC disc drive, and Wii Sports PLEASE! If I wanna play FLASH games I’ll hit Mousebreaker. Red Steel, Red Bollocks more like.
Richie said…
Well said!

I love the Classificaltion of Consoles

The next-gen queers:
Microsoft Gay60
Sony Gaystation
Nintento Gayii

Genius!

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